Retrospect vs Memory

I was released from physical therapy this week – another milestone along the road to healing.  I broke my arm in South America in March, traveled home for surgery, and have followed up with physical therapy until now.  It’s fair to say that I’m in the home stretch – doing my exercises at home, and feeling significantly better.

The surgeon that operated on my wrist warned that many of his patients believe that the healing process is like a race, with a prize going to the quickest healer.  I received his words as an invitation from the Lord to fully experience each stage, and determined that I would not be in a rush.  Although time has passed very quickly, I haven’t rushed the process.  Time and exercise have brought healing.  They’ve also brought a profound change in the way I view this adventure.  As I look back, I can see nothing but blessings -- a 100% positive experience.  I can still remember pain and anxiety.  I can remember being sooo exhausted from the trip back to the States.  But all of it – even pain, anxiety, and exhaustion have been transformed into an experience of growth and blessing.

Have the facts changed?  No.  The circumstances were what they were.  There’s nothing wrong with my memory.  I remember all of it.   But my view of the facts is different.  Perspective is “a way of regarding situations, facts, etc., and judging their relative importance” (Dictionary.com).  Retrospect is a contemplation of the past – putting the past into perspective, if you will.    I don’t know about you, but when things are happening, perspective is hard to come by.  For me, only by contemplating the past (retrospect), can I gain perspective – hind sight is 20/20, right? 

In March, when I was riding in the van from the farm in San Pedro to a clinic in Medellin, I knew that some kind of good would come from my experiences.  I couldn’t imagine what it would be, but I was certain that I was in the hands of an omnipotent God who loves me.  Today, I know – in retrospect – that more blessings than I can count have been given to me throughout this process. 

If you’re in the midst of an “adventure”, hang on.  Enter into the experience fully, trusting God to transform your circumstances-- and you -- in the process.  While it may be tempting to figure out the whys and wherefores right now, hold off.  Stay open.  Receive God’s gifts, and wait for the perspective that can only be fully appreciated when looking back.

No Good Deed...

My cast is off now, and typing is much easier, so I thought I'd take a minute to reflect on fracturing my arm while on a short term mission trip in San Pedro, Colombia. 

My husband and I were working to repair the roof of a shed where a pig would live.  We were probably within an hour of finishing our work, when I fell off of a ladder and fractured my arm.  Getting hurt began an odyssey of travel, surgery, and recovery.  It also gave rise to many thoughts and comments - from myself and the peanut gallery. 

As I sat waiting for a ride into Medellin for the emergency room, I thought to myself, "No good deed goes unpunished."  This is a sentiment I've  heard from several people since then - Christian and non-Christian alike.  Where does a thought like this come from?  While I can't say where the thought originated,  I can say where the thought didn't come from. It's not something the Holy Spirit was whispering in my ear. 

It's human nature to wonder "why?".  I've wondered why I felt compelled to climb the ladder.  After all, it was my husband Richard who was going to be doing the work on top.  I just wanted a little peek.  Why did the ladder fall?  Why did it lead to an injury?   I think the reason that the question "why" is so important, is because we know instinctively that events are infused with meaning.  It's good to search for meaning.

That proclivity to look for meaning can lead us down paths that are best left un-trod, however.  I've had stupid things said to me about the "why" as well as platitudes.  I've also heard things that are true and godly, but may or may not apply to my situation. 

The best response I've encountered during this adventure has been that of my husband.  He hasn't tried to figure out "why".  Instead, he's pointed over and over to where he's seen the hand of God at work.  He can recount travel mercies - plans falling perfectly into place, medical blessings - the best hand guy in Greensboro, NC being my doctor, and many more.  His list of God's blessing and provision is long, and he  recounts it well.  I think that Richard's approach is ideal. 

Sometimes God makes His purposes very clear. Other times, we find out over time what was going on, or how events led to our good and God's glory.  But sometimes we're not privy to the whys and wherefores.  Sometimes we just have to trust the Lord - without being in on all of the inside information. 

Regardless, we can't go wrong when we look for and point out where we see God's hand at work.  When our mouths are full of praise to God for His care and provision, and our minds are focused on where He is at work, then we realize that, "our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all" (2 Cor.4:17).