The Best Defense is a Good Offense

Many times over the past several months, I've heard folks trying to figure out how to stop some sort of negative behavior.  Usually the negative behaviors have to do with some relationship they're in.From a college student, "How can I be more positive with my roommates so that we can get along?"  Co-worker, "How can I deal with this person who's bad behavior is hurting the team?"  From a church member, "How can I deal with my bad attitude toward that very 'unlovable' person?"

When I hear anything like the above - or when I wonder them myself - I think about Pastor Joe and some very important things I learned from him.  Maybe I'd better begin by explaining who Pastor Joe is.  Pastor Joe served as an interim minister for our church for a year.  His ministry profoundly changed my life and the lives of so many members of our church.  How did that happen?  Love.  He loved us.

I don't have room on this page to describe everything in Joe's ministry that changed the way I think and approach my life.  I want to focus on one thing.  Something that struck me about Joe's prayers was the thanksgiving and praise.  Whenever he prayed with me or in a group, he spent focused time praising God for good: God's own wonderful qualities, the good things that were happening, and the good things that he saw in the lives of those he was praying for.  Though as a Christian, I'd received instruction about doing this, for most, this time of praise and thanksgiving was at best perfunctory.  In Joe's prayers it was profoundly powerful.

Praise and thanksgiving refocuses the mind and heart.  If you're praying about a difficult circumstance, and truly begin with praise and thanksgiving for all that God is doing, you're able to see the circumstance in its proper perspective.  A difficult thing is a part of the wonderful and gracious unfolding of God's plan - a plan that He is fully in control of.  We can rest assured that God's plan  means glory for Himself, and in a mysterious way is our glory too.  If you're praying for a person - even someone who may be giving you difficulties - and begin with praise and thanksgiving for that person's wonderful qualities, then your mind is refocused to view that person as a gift from God.  Focusing on the positive, changes the way you perceive the negative.

Anyone who has children can attest, that if you want a child to do something, then tell him not to... The thing you have forbidden becomes irresistible. We can't stop doing negative things by telling ourselves not to do them.  Instead, we must replace the negative with the positive.  If you are praising and thanking God for circumstances and people -- focusing on the positive -- the negative begins to lose its power.  It's hard (perhaps impossible) to continue to feel down about something or someone you've just been praising God for.  The best defense is a good offense. 

I've included in this post a picture of the front of a book Joe P. has written called An Unthinkable Marriage.  In it, Joe explains in a very entertaining and readable way, how he came to do the things he does. I have never encountered anyone as affirming as Pastor Joe.  The way he lives is transformational - for him and everyone he meets.  He wasn't born that way.  He followed a path leading to love and freedom, one that he invites his readers to follow.  I highly recommend it.