On Being Human

I'm writing a paper on King David right now. It focuses on his humility. This summer I was reading a book entitled Humble Leadership: Being Radically Open to God's Guidance and Grace. At the same time the Lectionary, which I read devotionally was moving through 1 and 2 Samuel. It was (I suppose) natural that I would be reading about David's life with the rubric of humility superimposed...

I preached at a church a couple of weeks ago, and afterward one of the elders asked me who my favorite Bible character is. I promptly replied David (though my 'favorites' are subject to change). He was surprised. "David was a scoundrel. A womanizer." "Yes," I responded, "but he was humble." And that's the truth. David was always ready to submit to God's will and ways, even - or maybe especially after he'd sinned.

David did some very human things. He wasn't idealized in the biblical narrative. It's actually normal for the foibles of the biblical characters to be highlighted, since the Story is really about God... But when you think of kingship in the Old Testament only David is upheld as a successful example of "king." He's an integral part of the history of salvation.

David's humanity shouldn't make us uncomfortable. I don't know about you, but I fall into the 'human' category myself. My leadership at home, church, and work is effective, but flawed by my own sin and brokenness. Check out this quote from Eugene Peterson's commentary on 1 and 2 Samuel:

"...notice the way the story keeps us immersed in and attentive to hour human condition. For it is not easy to attend to ourselves; it is more attractive to try to rise above our human condition; it is easier to sink below our human condition and live like animals. But 'human' is unique, and we require a long growing up to realize who we are and the way we are before God. (p. 137)"

It's okay to be human. Don't worry if in the story of your life your 'starring' role is marred by lots of imperfections. You don't really have the starring role - not even in the story of your own life. "For we possess this treasure in earthen vessels, to show that this surpassing power is from God and not from us" (2 Cor.

The Power of Gratitude

Lately I've encountered several people who have been very focused on what's wrong. What's wrong in their lives. What's wrong with other people in their lives. What's wrong in their town, the USA, and the world. Lots and lots of talk about what's wrong.

I was playing tennis a couple of weeks ago at one of our city parks and mentioned that I would be playing the following day (Sunday) after church. A guy there said, "Oh, you need to go and atone for your sins, huh?" I responded, "No, I'm going in gratitude for all that God has blessed me with." He told me that God had done nothing for him.

Christians focus a lot on gratitude. Gratitude is meant to be the motivation for much of what we do. As grateful recipients of love, grace, forgiveness, and God's generosity, we should be generous givers of the same. The concept of tithing is rooted in gratitude. Does God need our money? Not, really. Does God need us to say, "Thank you?" No.

We're the ones who need to experience and express gratitude. Gratitude focuses us on the positive. If you want to be happy, it's critical that you have an attitude of gratitude. Why? I think because we get what we're looking for. If you feel that everything is wrong in your life, and you spend time thinking about all that is lacking, you'll be miserable. Things will go from bad to worse as you spiral down that rabbit hole.

It's amazing, however, how focusing on all that is right and good seems to increase your awareness of all that is right and good. Even when there is something wrong that can't be ignored, it's better to begin your prayers about it with a thankful heart - one that acknowledges anything good in the situation or person you're praying about or for.

Spend some time thanking God for the good stuff. There's lots of it there if you'll look.

"Yes" and "No"

Tomorrow I take my daughter to college. It's late, I know. She will attend a college on the quarter system, and classes do not begin until September 12. All during her senior year, I could see signs that it was time for her to transition to a new stage where she lives as a young adult on her own. She desires independence, and she's earned it.

Olivia is a responsible, intelligent, and independent young lady. She's worked since she was fourteen, played music in a variety of settings (including the very demanding marching band), all the while maintaining excellent grades. She's a great kid -- I mean young woman. Our relationship has been markedly similar to Lorelai and Rory Gilmore's. Very close and full of enjoyment.

Many times over the last several months I've used the pregnancy analogy when people asked me if I was ready to let her go. When a woman is first pregnant she suffers from fatigue and morning sickness. I can remember that stage very well. I didn't feel the greatest, but I couldn't imagine the trauma of actual labor and delivery. It scared me to death. Toward the middle of the pregnancy,you begin to feel good. Energy is back, and the baby is moving around which is pretty neat. I remember feeling that I was already getting to know my children during this stage. But then the third trimester comes... Back to tired -- and uncomfortable. By the due date (if not before) you just want the baby out! It doesn't matter how much it hurts or how scary it is. I remember people telling me to not be in a hurry for the baby to come. "Rest!", they said. "You'll need it later."

Once kids are born, the same cycle starts again, only this time taking years rather than months. In the first year or two, although you're not feeling sick, you are more tired than you ever imagined possible. Time passes slowly, and you think that this baby thing will go on forever. Now folks say, "They'll be grown before you know it." During the middle years, the Halcyon days, you get to feeling comfortable again. Your kids become more interesting and they want to do lots of fun stuff! Time begins to speed up just as you want it to slow down... Before you know it, the teen years arrive. You're back in what feels like the third trimester of pregnancy. Finally you reach the point where (even with a great kid) you saying to yourself, "It's time this kid was out!"

Well it's the night before I drive Olivia six hours away to school... Now out of one side of my mouth I'm saying, "It's time," while the other side is saying, "Wait! I'm not ready!" Of course, she's going. It is time. We both stand on the threshold of a new era, and whether we think we're ready or not, we will transition into a new way of living and relating to one another.

Big changes are often like this. We sense the time is right for something, but letting go of what we know and embracing the unknown is frightening. Without a doubt, however, it's better do move into the future. If my daughter stayed home and we tried to maintain the status quo, our relationship would move from happy and normal to pathologically unhealthy.

So, instead we'll choose to take a minute to mourn the passing of one stage and then run joyfully toward the future, trusting that the God who in His goodness put us together in the first place, has wonderful plans for the future. I hope if you're in transition, that you'll choose to look toward the fantastic things coming while being grateful for the good things that are passing away. It is the only way to live fully and freely.

Accepting Responsibility

I watched with interest as Anthony Weiner accepted responsibility for his inappropriate use of social media (Facebook and Twitter). Over a period of three years he had on line relationships of a sexual nature with six women.

Although it's unfortunate that Weiner decided to engage in these inappropriate relationships, he serves as a model of how to accept responsibility for his actions. He made it clear in his news conference that his actions were wrong and that he and he alone was responsible. He did not attempt to deflect blame onto the women or any one else who might serve to distract attention from his bad behavior. He made no excuses.

All of us are guilty of mistakes, poor judgement, etc. Christians call it sin. Weiner did not use that word for his actions. Some may criticize that, but I think he was right to say that he had made mistakes, used poor judgement, and done some deeply regrettable things. The word "sin" is laden with connotations that make some people immediately close their minds to whatever is said next (perhaps Jimmy Swaggart's teary confession coming to mind).

Weiner's demeanor was one of contrite seriousness. He understands that he let people down: his wife, friends, and constituents, and is not looking for sympathy. Perhaps that's why I find my heart going out to him. He was humble, accountable, and has had a change of mind about behaviors that he originally did not believe to be as hurtful as they really are (the Greek word for repentance is "metanoia"- a change of mind.

Hopefully you don't have something like this to own up to. But if you do, Weiner offers a great example of how to respond. Own up to what you've done. Blame no one else. Be honest. It may be tempting to deflect attention off of yourself, but in the end no one is fooled. Accountability and honesty is the road back to health and trust.

A Slippery Slope

I was reading the news this morning when I saw the headline "Global War on Drugs Has Failed." The Global Commission on Drug Policy states that the war on drugs has not and cannot be won. It recommends that governments should end the criminalization of drug use and experiment with legal models that would undermine organized crime syndicates. Drug users, after all only harm themselves, right?

This sort of reasoning is an alarming slippery slope. We also have not (and probably will not) win the war on human trafficking or pornography. Should we also give up on those battles and attempt to "regulate" how people are sold or exploited? People are still killing each other too. Should murder be legalized? How about robbery? One may argue the above points by saying, "Well, these are not victimless crimes. Drug use is...."

So, drug users only harm themselves? I'm wondering what percentage of crimes are committed under the influence of drugs. I don't know the answer, but everyone has heard of crime (often violent) committed by someone who was high. Drug use takes a toll on families (just as alcohol abuse does). The drug user harms himself, his family, and sometimes others. There is no such thing as a victimless crime.

The commission states that governments have spent too much time and money hunting down criminals and incarcerating them. Drug addicts are a financial drain on governments regardless. Treatment facilities cost money too. Not to mention that most drug addicts are not productive members of society.

How about the organized crime angle? If drugs are legalized, won't that hurt organized crime? Last time I checked, garbage collection is perfectly legal, but that hasn't stopped organized crime from being involved...

I usually try to stay away from anything remotely political, but when I read a news story like this it's hard not to comment. Hopefully we'll decide to hold the line against illegal drugs, human trafficking, pornography (which no matter how you feel about your right to view it, often involves the exploitation of someone), and everything else that harms people. Just because we haven't won - and perhaps will not win, doesn't mean that we shouldn't keep fighting.

Vengeance Is Mine

Perhaps enough time has passed since Osama Bin Laden's death to make some comments. A couple of weeks ago I was having dinner with some friends and made the comment that although I think that the US needed to stop Bin Laden (and the only way to stop him was to kill him), I did not think that it was right that there was so much celebration. My observation was not well received at the table. I believe that many think that it's right and patriotic to rejoice and celebrate over the death of one who wounded many families as well as the pride of the USA.


This week I read a short article about an Iranian woman to whom the courts granted the right to throw acid in the face of the man who threw acid in hers when she refused to marry him. She may exact retribution on her attacker. While it was an unthinkable evil for this man to attack her so viciously, I wonder if mutilating him as he mutilated her will bring her any sort of inner healing and peace. Without a doubt the man should be punished - and punished severely. Should it be in like kind, and delivered by her hand? Could it be that exacting revenge will diminish her humanity as well as his?

It's natural to want to get even with one who has wronged us. I'm the oldest of five kids. In a family our size there were regular fights. I can't tell you how many times I've heard my mother say, "Two wrongs don't make a right." That lesson sunk in. I don't think that individuals are very good at figuring out how to make situations "even steven".

In various places throughout the Bible God says, "Vengeance is mine." Why do you think He wants to reserve vengeance for Himself? Is God rubbing His hands together in anticipation and glee over the fate that awaits the "bad guy"? I think not. Instead, the Bible portrays God as One waiting to show mercy and give grace. We like to think of Him this way when we're the ones in need of it (and all of us play the bad guy at some time and on some level). But imagining our enemies as the objects of God's grace, mercy, and love is more that we want to contemplate. God does, after all love everyone - even terrorists and the guy who throws acid in the face of the lover who has scorned him.

Hopefully you'll never have to forgive someone who has murdered or mutilated someone you love. There is no question, however, that you will be wronged in a significant way at some time in your life. The betrayal of a friend or spouse, the theft of property or your good name are grievous wrongs, and not terribly uncommon. If you're facing any of those things today, remember that two wrongs don't make a right. Let God deal with the one who has wronged you. He knows how to make things right and you can trust Him to do it.

River Monster Ruminations

My new favorite show is River Monsters. I'm surprised by my attraction to this show- fascinated, and not entirely sure why. I don't fish, but I DO love adventure. Maybe that's the answer...

The host, Jeremy Wade, travels the world fishing for strange and/or dangerous fish. All of the shows I've watched (I only became aware of it this season) have sensational titles like "Flesh Ripper." The story unfolds a bit like a mystery: does a certain fish really do whatever people claim it does, etc. At its heart, however, is a man with a great deal of curiosity about and respect for fish. I think that's perhaps another reason I like it so much.

Although there are exciting scenes in every show where the fish is finally landed, it's clear that Jeremy Wade spends plenty of time with his line in the water beforehand. In one episode he fishes for eleven days straight ( day and night) before he manages to hook the fish he's looking for.

I've spent some time thinking about the truths that River Monsters reminds me of...

- For every moment of triumph, there are many many disappointments and much waiting. If fishing can teach this life lesson effectively, I'd say that it should be mandatory training for all of us. We often expect immediate results and chafe under the discipline of waiting.

- Related to that is the development of a skill until it reaches the level of art. Becoming adept takes time and commitment. Practice makes better (if not perfect) and one who has practiced a lot makes what he is doing look easy and natural.

- Life is better when you approach others with respect and wonder. On River Monsters Wade encounters peoples and cultures very different from his own. He's smart enough to make friends and learn whatever the indigenous people have to teach him. His success is in part due to his emotional intelligence. He also respects the fish he catches, examining them with gentleness and releasing them back into the water (I know for certain that I could not watch the show if he was fishing for trophies). This world is full of interesting people and creatures. When we take the time to notice, our lives are enriched.

- People who follow their passion live interesting lives. I don't think this requires any elaboration...

Perhaps more on this later, but for now I'm content to chew this cud.