The Green Light At the End of the Dock

Check out this portion of my daughter's blog:

"baby eyes and an open heart. a free spirit and a longing for adventure.dying to explore this big, big world.i have become the most restless being ever.i'm worse than a ghost caught in a haunted house,a sparrow trapped in a cage.a prisoner with his hands through the bars in his cell. slaves escaping in the dead of night for freedom. where is the relief for such a restless spirit?in this big, big world.

we walk through this life trying to find a light in the dark to guide our stumbling feet. the green light at the end of the dock on the other side of the water. a reason to keep ourselves alive.it seems i haven't found mine yet,but it's somewhere in this big, big world.

it seems i haven't found mine yet,but it's somewhere in this big, big world. am i too occupied, or not occupied enough?i am trapped beneath a life that i know i don't want. the big blue sky is my limit, and i can do anything.i want to reach for it and run for it and jump into it so i don't have to live this mousetrap of a life that i am living. cut the chains, set me free.free to explore this big, big world"

The green light at the end of the dock is an obvious reference to The Great Gatsby. It breaks my heart to read of her longing for something more.

Then I turn to today's Lectionary. The morning Psalm is Psalm 84:

Psalm 84
How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD of hosts!
My soul longs, indeed it faints for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God.

Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, at your altars, O LORD of hosts, my King and my God.

Happy are those who live in your house,ever singing your praise.

Selah

Happy are those whose strength is in you, in whose heart are the highways to Zion.

As they go through the valley of Baca they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools.

They go from strength to strength; the God of gods will be seen in Zion. O LORD God of hosts, hear my prayer; give ear, O God of Jacob!
Selah

Behold our shield, O God; look on the face of your anointed.

For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than live in the tents of wickedness.

For the LORD God is a sun and shield;he bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does the LORD withhold from those who walk uprightly.

O LORD of hosts, happy is everyone who trusts in you.

My daughter is yearning for something more - something bigger. The truth is, all of us need a green light at the end of the dock. Unlike Gatsby, however, the Someone we need most is not beyond our reach. In fact, that Someone reaches out to us with steadfast love, and offers to fulfill our deepest longings.

Puzzling

Lately I've been into working jigsaw puzzles. My passion for puzzles began when I discovered the on-line daily puzzles on msn games. Each day three fresh puzzles are posted, and I began to work them over breakfast.

It didn't take long for me to decide that maybe I needed to purchase some real puzzles that would take longer than 10 or 15 minutes to put together. So... out I went to Wal-Mart to feed my new found enthusiasm.

Puzzles are relaxing. I also believe they're good for your brain. But there's something else that I'm beginning to understand from puzzles... It has to do with discernment.

When I'm working a puzzle, I like to sort out the pieces that I think will go together into groups. Then as I work on one part of the puzzle or another, the process of finding the right piece is made easier because I don't have to look all over the table. What I find, however, is that sometimes I've sorted a piece into the wrong group. I think, for example that I have a piece of sky, but what I really have is part of a chair...

Invariably there's a point in my puzzle working where I begin to look more closely at each piece of puzzle to discern if I have it in the proper pile. And just as invariably, I find that what I thought was part of one thing is really something very different.

I think that life is very like a jigsaw puzzle (maybe that's why I like them so much). It's a beautiful whole, but broken up into many - sometimes bewildering - pieces. Just when you think you've got everything sorted out, you find a piece that doesn't fit. When it happens in life it's very frustrating, but jigsaw puzzles are teaching me to slow down and look more closely. What doesn't fit in one part of the puzzle fits beautifully into its proper place.

May God grant us eyes that see (discern) and minds that understand how everything in my life and yours fits together to complete a glorious picture of His grace and mercy.

Tripping Together is Better Than Falling Apart

The title of this blog comes from a line in a Christine Dente song entitled, "Gotta Go Through". It's a song about the pain of living in community. It's not a song that suggests that it's better NOT to live in community - but instead that community life forces to "go through" things that lead us into another place. A better place.

America is a land that prizes individualism. We're also a consumer driven culture. Individualism and consumerism make community life difficult, whether the community in question is a family or a church. When the going gets tough - when life together gets painful, it seems easier to get up and run.

The Trinity is a model of community, existing together in a circle dance of love and mutuality. The relationship in the Godhead is a picture of what life together is meant to be like for us: love, appreciation, support, and collaboration.

God designed us to live in community. Even though our relationships are fraught with pain and difficulty, it is in relationship that we grow and develop into fully actualized people. We do indeed gotta go through. Hang in there. It's worth it.

Doomed To Repeat It

They say that those who don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it. Up until the time of the Crusades, Islam peacefully coexisted with Christianity. The violence that characterizes some of Islam today was born out of the brutality meted out on Muslims, Jews, and Christians alike by the crusaders who couldn't really tell one Middle Eastern person from another. It's a sad and shameful chapter in the history of the West.

I (unfortunately) looked as some pictures taken in the Abu Ghraib prison. They show detainees being (allegedly) abused. The story used the word "allegedly" several times. Maybe there's a story behind the story that we're not privy to, but if not, it certainly looks like abuse to me. Most disturbing of all of the pictures were the ones with soldiers smiling over the death or dehumanization of the prisoners. Again... maybe there's a story behind the story. I'm not really sure that I believe there's ever any good reason to dehumanize someone.

I don't know about you, but I want to remember the past and learn from it. I want to avoid the mistakes I've made before. I want to face my sin and brokenness and forgive myself - God has already. When I encounter sin and brokenness in others, or in institutions (including the church) I want to extend grace and forgiveness. This is the only way to live the abundant life. The only way to sing a new song. The only way to avoid being doomed to repeat the past.

The Fellowship of Suffering

This week my colleagues and I traveled to our region headquarters for a dreaded quarterly review. During the review we recap our results - sales, key performance indicators, etc., and the initiatives we have in place for the upcoming quarter. It doesn't sound too bad, right?

Well trust me, it's no picnic - mainly due to the fact that regardless of what you've accomplished or how hard you've worked, you're in danger of embarrassment or worse from our region's head man. He's the kind of guy that believes in tough love - and that's putting it mildly. We'd all rather have a root canal than a quarterly review.

I was pondering the value of these quarterly exercises on my drive home Wednesday afternoon. We'd heard that we were the only region in our area doing a review this quarter, and I spent some time thinking about the value. It did occur to me that in this economy there's something to be said for keeping your foot on the gas peddle. We do need to be sure we're striving toward the right things and doing the right things in the right way.

But there's a greater value that my colleagues and I realize, and that's the fellowship of suffering. Maybe it sounds crazy, but we've been doing these together for several years. Each time it's excruciating. But something happens between us and among us as we suffer through them together. We bond. In fact, I've never been a part of a team as personally committed to each other as we are. I think that suffering together has a lot to do with it.

Most Americans spend a good deal of time and energy attempting to avoid suffering. I'm guessing that most of the world's people accept suffering as an inevitable part of life. Not Americans. The American Dream is a dream that we have enough of everything - money, health, knowledge, etc. to avoid unpleasantness. Life's better that way - right?

Maybe not. I think there's something to be said for the fellowship of suffering. Years from now when I look back on my life, I'll treasure those days spent in a windowless room toiling and laughing and praying (yes, praying) with my friends as we prepare to give an accounting of our efforts of the previous quarter.

In the same way, maybe our country will look back on these days of economic uncertainty and belt tightening as some of our best times. Times to be together, to learn to watch out for one another, to toil and laugh and pray together for the future - to share our humanity. Let's enjoy this time - these are the good ole days.

Rise Up

Easter has to be one of my favorite days. After the agony of holy week we get to celebrate the victory of Easter. In the chancel area of our church there's a cross covered with Easter lilies today. I saw crosses outside of other churches covered in flowers too. It's an incredibly beautiful reminder that God is victorious over sin and death through Christ.

The fact that the church chose the cross as its defining symbol makes sense because it was on the cross that Jesus won the decisive victory. But if you think about it from a first century perspective, it's an odd choice. The cross was a symbol of the most shameful kind of death a person could die. It was reserved for those who deserved a humiliating and excruciating end. Isn't it amazing the the Lord of Glory, the Creator and Sustainer of all gave up his life on a cross?!

Churches cover those instruments of torture with flowers on Easter Sunday. Why? Because that terrible symbol of suffering is transformed into a symbol of victory. Death could not hold him. Love wins - and not quietly or subtly - love wins with resounding shouts of victory. It's simply another example of God's exquisite sense of irony. Flowers covering the cross is a fitting picture of a great reversal.

That same victory - over sin and death and pain - is ours today. We all have wounds that have led to death - the death of some area of our lives, or of a relationship. We (like the disciples) may think that the story is over. But God, in Christ, is victorious. He is not content to see any part of you or me left in the tomb. In his resurrection appearances, Jesus' wounds were evidence of God's great power. Likewise, though we will certainly bear scars from many things, our wounds are transformed into evidence of God's great power, victory, and love if we will only allow them to be.

Ben Shive sings a song about the final judgement called "Rise Up". I think it's actually a great reminder that the Easter victory will one day be consummated, and on that day all will be made right:

Every stone that makes you stumble
And cuts you when you fall
Every serpent here that strikes your heel
To curse you when you crawl
The King of Love one day will crush them all

And every sad seduction
And every clever lie
Every word that woos and wounds
The pilgrim children of the sky
The King of Love will break them by and by

And you will rise up in the end
You will rise up in the end
I know the night is cruel
But the day is coming soon
And you will rise up in the end

All praise to the King of Love who's not content to leave us wounded and dead and alone in our shame; but who instead claims, redeems, and heals us; the One who causes those places of death to bloom with new life and beauty.

Dying Alone

I attended a couple of services yesterday (Maundy Thursday). In the first one the Gethsemane story was read, beginning with Jesus predicting Peter's denial. It is significant that this story appears in all four Gospel accounts. In the evening service I attended, passages from Jesus' final week on earth were read, beginning with the triumphal entry into Jerusalem and ending with Jesus' burial.

I'm struck by several things:

How dramatically and quickly the crowds turned against Jesus. Jesus spent three years preaching, teaching, healing, and befriending those who were left out of traditional "in crowds". In spite of all of the good he did for so many people, when Jesus disappointed their expectations, they turned against him, forgetting every good word and deed. People are fickle. I like to think that I'm a consistent person, but it's only wishful thinking. When things don't turn out like I expect, my constancy fades. How about you?

More surprising is how quickly Jesus' friends let him down. These guys were close to Jesus - sharing meals and travels. If any knew his heart, his worth, it was the disciples. One of them betrayed him, one denied knowing him, and they all deserted him when he was arrested. As I mentioned above, Peter's denial is recorded in all four Gospels. In Luke's account, Jesus not only foretells Peter's denial, says that he will turn back (toward Jesus) and that when he does, he should strengthen his brothers. Incredible words of encouragement for all of us who let our Lord down.

Jesus' face was set toward what he had to do, but he dreaded the suffering he knew he'd have to endure. In Gethsemane he struggled - and his friends slept. Again a description of people who loved Jesus - adored him, but couldn't watch and pray for him for even an hour. I think that these details, like the prediction of Peter's denial, are there for our encouragement. I don't know about you, but I'd have probably fallen asleep too.

I find myself in so many of the characters depicted in the Passion narrative. Jesus died for all of those faithless characters. He died for me too. I'm awed and amazed by the fact that he went through with it - even though he could have chosen not to. He could have come down from the cross instead of enduring the searing physical pain of crucifixion and the emotional pain of the insults hurled in his direction. Instead, he chose to give up his life for his faithless friends and the fickle crowds. For you and me. Thanks be to God!