I watched with interest as Anthony Weiner accepted responsibility for his inappropriate use of social media (Facebook and Twitter). Over a period of three years he had on line relationships of a sexual nature with six women.
Although it's unfortunate that Weiner decided to engage in these inappropriate relationships, he serves as a model of how to accept responsibility for his actions. He made it clear in his news conference that his actions were wrong and that he and he alone was responsible. He did not attempt to deflect blame onto the women or any one else who might serve to distract attention from his bad behavior. He made no excuses.
All of us are guilty of mistakes, poor judgement, etc. Christians call it sin. Weiner did not use that word for his actions. Some may criticize that, but I think he was right to say that he had made mistakes, used poor judgement, and done some deeply regrettable things. The word "sin" is laden with connotations that make some people immediately close their minds to whatever is said next (perhaps Jimmy Swaggart's teary confession coming to mind).
Weiner's demeanor was one of contrite seriousness. He understands that he let people down: his wife, friends, and constituents, and is not looking for sympathy. Perhaps that's why I find my heart going out to him. He was humble, accountable, and has had a change of mind about behaviors that he originally did not believe to be as hurtful as they really are (the Greek word for repentance is "metanoia"- a change of mind.
Hopefully you don't have something like this to own up to. But if you do, Weiner offers a great example of how to respond. Own up to what you've done. Blame no one else. Be honest. It may be tempting to deflect attention off of yourself, but in the end no one is fooled. Accountability and honesty is the road back to health and trust.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
A Slippery Slope
I was reading the news this morning when I saw the headline "Global War on Drugs Has Failed." The Global Commission on Drug Policy states that the war on drugs has not and cannot be won. It recommends that governments should end the criminalization of drug use and experiment with legal models that would undermine organized crime syndicates. Drug users, after all only harm themselves, right?
This sort of reasoning is an alarming slippery slope. We also have not (and probably will not) win the war on human trafficking or pornography. Should we also give up on those battles and attempt to "regulate" how people are sold or exploited? People are still killing each other too. Should murder be legalized? How about robbery? One may argue the above points by saying, "Well, these are not victimless crimes. Drug use is...."
So, drug users only harm themselves? I'm wondering what percentage of crimes are committed under the influence of drugs. I don't know the answer, but everyone has heard of crime (often violent) committed by someone who was high. Drug use takes a toll on families (just as alcohol abuse does). The drug user harms himself, his family, and sometimes others. There is no such thing as a victimless crime.
The commission states that governments have spent too much time and money hunting down criminals and incarcerating them. Drug addicts are a financial drain on governments regardless. Treatment facilities cost money too. Not to mention that most drug addicts are not productive members of society.
How about the organized crime angle? If drugs are legalized, won't that hurt organized crime? Last time I checked, garbage collection is perfectly legal, but that hasn't stopped organized crime from being involved...
I usually try to stay away from anything remotely political, but when I read a news story like this it's hard not to comment. Hopefully we'll decide to hold the line against illegal drugs, human trafficking, pornography (which no matter how you feel about your right to view it, often involves the exploitation of someone), and everything else that harms people. Just because we haven't won - and perhaps will not win, doesn't mean that we shouldn't keep fighting.
This sort of reasoning is an alarming slippery slope. We also have not (and probably will not) win the war on human trafficking or pornography. Should we also give up on those battles and attempt to "regulate" how people are sold or exploited? People are still killing each other too. Should murder be legalized? How about robbery? One may argue the above points by saying, "Well, these are not victimless crimes. Drug use is...."
So, drug users only harm themselves? I'm wondering what percentage of crimes are committed under the influence of drugs. I don't know the answer, but everyone has heard of crime (often violent) committed by someone who was high. Drug use takes a toll on families (just as alcohol abuse does). The drug user harms himself, his family, and sometimes others. There is no such thing as a victimless crime.
The commission states that governments have spent too much time and money hunting down criminals and incarcerating them. Drug addicts are a financial drain on governments regardless. Treatment facilities cost money too. Not to mention that most drug addicts are not productive members of society.
How about the organized crime angle? If drugs are legalized, won't that hurt organized crime? Last time I checked, garbage collection is perfectly legal, but that hasn't stopped organized crime from being involved...
I usually try to stay away from anything remotely political, but when I read a news story like this it's hard not to comment. Hopefully we'll decide to hold the line against illegal drugs, human trafficking, pornography (which no matter how you feel about your right to view it, often involves the exploitation of someone), and everything else that harms people. Just because we haven't won - and perhaps will not win, doesn't mean that we shouldn't keep fighting.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Vengeance Is Mine
Perhaps enough time has passed since Osama Bin Laden's death to make some comments. A couple of weeks ago I was having dinner with some friends and made the comment that although I think that the US needed to stop Bin Laden (and the only way to stop him was to kill him), I did not think that it was right that there was so much celebration. My observation was not well received at the table. I believe that many think that it's right and patriotic to rejoice and celebrate over the death of one who wounded many families as well as the pride of the USA.
This week I read a short article about an Iranian woman to whom the courts granted the right to throw acid in the face of the man who threw acid in hers when she refused to marry him. She may exact retribution on her attacker. While it was an unthinkable evil for this man to attack her so viciously, I wonder if mutilating him as he mutilated her will bring her any sort of inner healing and peace. Without a doubt the man should be punished - and punished severely. Should it be in like kind, and delivered by her hand? Could it be that exacting revenge will diminish her humanity as well as his?
It's natural to want to get even with one who has wronged us. I'm the oldest of five kids. In a family our size there were regular fights. I can't tell you how many times I've heard my mother say, "Two wrongs don't make a right." That lesson sunk in. I don't think that individuals are very good at figuring out how to make situations "even steven".
In various places throughout the Bible God says, "Vengeance is mine." Why do you think He wants to reserve vengeance for Himself? Is God rubbing His hands together in anticipation and glee over the fate that awaits the "bad guy"? I think not. Instead, the Bible portrays God as One waiting to show mercy and give grace. We like to think of Him this way when we're the ones in need of it (and all of us play the bad guy at some time and on some level). But imagining our enemies as the objects of God's grace, mercy, and love is more that we want to contemplate. God does, after all love everyone - even terrorists and the guy who throws acid in the face of the lover who has scorned him.
Hopefully you'll never have to forgive someone who has murdered or mutilated someone you love. There is no question, however, that you will be wronged in a significant way at some time in your life. The betrayal of a friend or spouse, the theft of property or your good name are grievous wrongs, and not terribly uncommon. If you're facing any of those things today, remember that two wrongs don't make a right. Let God deal with the one who has wronged you. He knows how to make things right and you can trust Him to do it.
This week I read a short article about an Iranian woman to whom the courts granted the right to throw acid in the face of the man who threw acid in hers when she refused to marry him. She may exact retribution on her attacker. While it was an unthinkable evil for this man to attack her so viciously, I wonder if mutilating him as he mutilated her will bring her any sort of inner healing and peace. Without a doubt the man should be punished - and punished severely. Should it be in like kind, and delivered by her hand? Could it be that exacting revenge will diminish her humanity as well as his?
It's natural to want to get even with one who has wronged us. I'm the oldest of five kids. In a family our size there were regular fights. I can't tell you how many times I've heard my mother say, "Two wrongs don't make a right." That lesson sunk in. I don't think that individuals are very good at figuring out how to make situations "even steven".
In various places throughout the Bible God says, "Vengeance is mine." Why do you think He wants to reserve vengeance for Himself? Is God rubbing His hands together in anticipation and glee over the fate that awaits the "bad guy"? I think not. Instead, the Bible portrays God as One waiting to show mercy and give grace. We like to think of Him this way when we're the ones in need of it (and all of us play the bad guy at some time and on some level). But imagining our enemies as the objects of God's grace, mercy, and love is more that we want to contemplate. God does, after all love everyone - even terrorists and the guy who throws acid in the face of the lover who has scorned him.
Hopefully you'll never have to forgive someone who has murdered or mutilated someone you love. There is no question, however, that you will be wronged in a significant way at some time in your life. The betrayal of a friend or spouse, the theft of property or your good name are grievous wrongs, and not terribly uncommon. If you're facing any of those things today, remember that two wrongs don't make a right. Let God deal with the one who has wronged you. He knows how to make things right and you can trust Him to do it.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
River Monster Ruminations
My new favorite show is River Monsters. I'm surprised by my attraction to this show- fascinated, and not entirely sure why. I don't fish, but I DO love adventure. Maybe that's the answer...
The host, Jeremy Wade, travels the world fishing for strange and/or dangerous fish. All of the shows I've watched (I only became aware of it this season) have sensational titles like "Flesh Ripper." The story unfolds a bit like a mystery: does a certain fish really do whatever people claim it does, etc. At its heart, however, is a man with a great deal of curiosity about and respect for fish. I think that's perhaps another reason I like it so much.
Although there are exciting scenes in every show where the fish is finally landed, it's clear that Jeremy Wade spends plenty of time with his line in the water beforehand. In one episode he fishes for eleven days straight ( day and night) before he manages to hook the fish he's looking for.
I've spent some time thinking about the truths that River Monsters reminds me of...
- For every moment of triumph, there are many many disappointments and much waiting. If fishing can teach this life lesson effectively, I'd say that it should be mandatory training for all of us. We often expect immediate results and chafe under the discipline of waiting.
- Related to that is the development of a skill until it reaches the level of art. Becoming adept takes time and commitment. Practice makes better (if not perfect) and one who has practiced a lot makes what he is doing look easy and natural.
- Life is better when you approach others with respect and wonder. On River Monsters Wade encounters peoples and cultures very different from his own. He's smart enough to make friends and learn whatever the indigenous people have to teach him. His success is in part due to his emotional intelligence. He also respects the fish he catches, examining them with gentleness and releasing them back into the water (I know for certain that I could not watch the show if he was fishing for trophies). This world is full of interesting people and creatures. When we take the time to notice, our lives are enriched.
- People who follow their passion live interesting lives. I don't think this requires any elaboration...
Perhaps more on this later, but for now I'm content to chew this cud.
The host, Jeremy Wade, travels the world fishing for strange and/or dangerous fish. All of the shows I've watched (I only became aware of it this season) have sensational titles like "Flesh Ripper." The story unfolds a bit like a mystery: does a certain fish really do whatever people claim it does, etc. At its heart, however, is a man with a great deal of curiosity about and respect for fish. I think that's perhaps another reason I like it so much.
Although there are exciting scenes in every show where the fish is finally landed, it's clear that Jeremy Wade spends plenty of time with his line in the water beforehand. In one episode he fishes for eleven days straight ( day and night) before he manages to hook the fish he's looking for.
I've spent some time thinking about the truths that River Monsters reminds me of...
- For every moment of triumph, there are many many disappointments and much waiting. If fishing can teach this life lesson effectively, I'd say that it should be mandatory training for all of us. We often expect immediate results and chafe under the discipline of waiting.
- Related to that is the development of a skill until it reaches the level of art. Becoming adept takes time and commitment. Practice makes better (if not perfect) and one who has practiced a lot makes what he is doing look easy and natural.
- Life is better when you approach others with respect and wonder. On River Monsters Wade encounters peoples and cultures very different from his own. He's smart enough to make friends and learn whatever the indigenous people have to teach him. His success is in part due to his emotional intelligence. He also respects the fish he catches, examining them with gentleness and releasing them back into the water (I know for certain that I could not watch the show if he was fishing for trophies). This world is full of interesting people and creatures. When we take the time to notice, our lives are enriched.
- People who follow their passion live interesting lives. I don't think this requires any elaboration...
Perhaps more on this later, but for now I'm content to chew this cud.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Holiness
"The striking visual features of heaven are its symmetry, its light, and its fertility. It is perfectly proportioned, it is light-filled, and it is life-producing. The symmetry is a realization of entire holiness. We are being fashioned into holiness: holiness is perfectly proportioned wholeness" (Eugene Peterson, Reversed Thunder: The Revelation of John & The Praying Imagination, p. 177).
"Be holy, for I am holy." Not so much a call to good behavior as it is a call to total transformation. It is an invitation to participate - to reflect - the beauty of God: His symmetry, His light, and his life-giving presence.
As I mentioned a couple of days ago, it's not something that is easy and it's not quick. In fact it takes a lifetime of work. The wonderful thing is, however, that although we do have to exert effort, the ultimate work is God's. It is God Himself that directs and plans everything in the believer's life to work together to achieve His vision of loveliness and wholeness.
Over the last seven or eight weeks one of my bathrooms has been in the process of remodel. I had the room gutted, and changed almost everything in the room. At some time in the past my home was a duplex. The bathroom upstairs during the duplex days served as a kitchen and a bathroom. There was a kitchen sink up there as well as a bathroom vanity. There were also kitchen cabinets - hung so high that I could only reach the bottom shelf.
When the renovation began I was very excited. I figured I'd be inconvenienced for a couple of weeks and then I'd have a beautifully transformed bathroom. Four weeks or so in I began to lose my enthusiasm. Stuff was sitting everywhere (although I could only reach the bottom shelf of those cabinets, I'd still filled them up) and we were constantly tripping over each other as we tried to find a good mirror to put our make-up on in front of or dry our hair.
Although it's still not 100% completed, we're almost there. My enthusiasm is back. The space is beautiful and I'm excited as I contemplate its use. I'm glad I decided to live through the inconvenience.
I live in an old house (built in 1912). Most of the house has been remodeled since I've been here, though there is still plenty to do. With every project I'm moving closer to what I consider a thing of beauty.
I think as our inner "houses" are remodeled we go through much the same process. We may begin with some excitement and a vision of what a "remodeled" future looks like. We'll enjoy the space and enjoy inviting others into it so that they can share the beauty. When we're in the midst of change, however, we begin to wonder if it's worth it. The old comfort may not have been terrific, but now we're in a mess and it doesn't look good yet. But if we hang in there, we complete the project and have a space that we're happy to live in - and to share with others.
While there will always be some other project to do, every bit of effort we expend or inconvenience we endure moves us closer to holiness and beauty. Wherever you are today, I hope you'll stay committed to the transforming work of the Holy Spirit in your life.
"Be holy, for I am holy." Not so much a call to good behavior as it is a call to total transformation. It is an invitation to participate - to reflect - the beauty of God: His symmetry, His light, and his life-giving presence.
As I mentioned a couple of days ago, it's not something that is easy and it's not quick. In fact it takes a lifetime of work. The wonderful thing is, however, that although we do have to exert effort, the ultimate work is God's. It is God Himself that directs and plans everything in the believer's life to work together to achieve His vision of loveliness and wholeness.
Over the last seven or eight weeks one of my bathrooms has been in the process of remodel. I had the room gutted, and changed almost everything in the room. At some time in the past my home was a duplex. The bathroom upstairs during the duplex days served as a kitchen and a bathroom. There was a kitchen sink up there as well as a bathroom vanity. There were also kitchen cabinets - hung so high that I could only reach the bottom shelf.
When the renovation began I was very excited. I figured I'd be inconvenienced for a couple of weeks and then I'd have a beautifully transformed bathroom. Four weeks or so in I began to lose my enthusiasm. Stuff was sitting everywhere (although I could only reach the bottom shelf of those cabinets, I'd still filled them up) and we were constantly tripping over each other as we tried to find a good mirror to put our make-up on in front of or dry our hair.
Although it's still not 100% completed, we're almost there. My enthusiasm is back. The space is beautiful and I'm excited as I contemplate its use. I'm glad I decided to live through the inconvenience.
I live in an old house (built in 1912). Most of the house has been remodeled since I've been here, though there is still plenty to do. With every project I'm moving closer to what I consider a thing of beauty.
I think as our inner "houses" are remodeled we go through much the same process. We may begin with some excitement and a vision of what a "remodeled" future looks like. We'll enjoy the space and enjoy inviting others into it so that they can share the beauty. When we're in the midst of change, however, we begin to wonder if it's worth it. The old comfort may not have been terrific, but now we're in a mess and it doesn't look good yet. But if we hang in there, we complete the project and have a space that we're happy to live in - and to share with others.
While there will always be some other project to do, every bit of effort we expend or inconvenience we endure moves us closer to holiness and beauty. Wherever you are today, I hope you'll stay committed to the transforming work of the Holy Spirit in your life.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Reading the Gospel
One of my Facebook friends posted a comment a couple of weeks ago about the Gospel. He basically said that one should not pick and choose what one believes about the Gospel because then the story becomes more about you than about God. One of his friends responded that he hasn't anything to do with the Gospel because he's lied to himself much less frequently than the Gospel has lied to him. I went back to the thread a few days later to check further comments. The same man said that he gave up on the Gospel when he was eight years old.
It's clear that someone who gave up on the Gospel at the age of eight has never really read the Gospel -- at least not the one written in the Bible. I've been thinking of this string of Facebook comments ever since.
Anyone who's been a Christian for very long has probably heard something along the lines of, "You may be the only Gospel someone ever reads." Well... here's the proof. The man's bitterness about the Gospel has nothing to do with Jesus and everything to do with his followers (and don't worry... I know that if I point my finger outward, that there are three pointing back at me).
God says in the Bible, "Be holy, for I am holy." One thing is for certain: God wants us to adopt His character - His holiness. Just to be clear, I don't mean He intends that we be holier than thou or judgmental. Instead, we're to look like Jesus.
Now if you have read the Gospels you know that Jesus made friends with all kinds of people. His life was characterized by love, forgiveness, grace, healing. He knew how to meet people of all walks of life right where they were and love them just as they were. In fact, the only ones who seemed to have a problem with Jesus were religious types (of the holier than thou variety).
"Be holy for I am holy." Become like Jesus. That's the mission of each Christian. It's what spiritual formation is all about. Being made over is hard and messy. It's not for sissies, and perhaps that's why so few have a real appetite for it. It's easy to judge others - to be holier than thou. It's simple to confess to some beliefs and follow a few rules that allow you to pass a "Christian" litmus test. It is something altogether different to have Christ formed in your personality. That requires a total overhaul. It's painful.
But it is critical that transformation happens. The stakes are high. It's not simply for our benefit, but for the benefit of those who truly won't read the Gospel except in the lives of Christians.
It's clear that someone who gave up on the Gospel at the age of eight has never really read the Gospel -- at least not the one written in the Bible. I've been thinking of this string of Facebook comments ever since.
Anyone who's been a Christian for very long has probably heard something along the lines of, "You may be the only Gospel someone ever reads." Well... here's the proof. The man's bitterness about the Gospel has nothing to do with Jesus and everything to do with his followers (and don't worry... I know that if I point my finger outward, that there are three pointing back at me).
God says in the Bible, "Be holy, for I am holy." One thing is for certain: God wants us to adopt His character - His holiness. Just to be clear, I don't mean He intends that we be holier than thou or judgmental. Instead, we're to look like Jesus.
Now if you have read the Gospels you know that Jesus made friends with all kinds of people. His life was characterized by love, forgiveness, grace, healing. He knew how to meet people of all walks of life right where they were and love them just as they were. In fact, the only ones who seemed to have a problem with Jesus were religious types (of the holier than thou variety).
"Be holy for I am holy." Become like Jesus. That's the mission of each Christian. It's what spiritual formation is all about. Being made over is hard and messy. It's not for sissies, and perhaps that's why so few have a real appetite for it. It's easy to judge others - to be holier than thou. It's simple to confess to some beliefs and follow a few rules that allow you to pass a "Christian" litmus test. It is something altogether different to have Christ formed in your personality. That requires a total overhaul. It's painful.
But it is critical that transformation happens. The stakes are high. It's not simply for our benefit, but for the benefit of those who truly won't read the Gospel except in the lives of Christians.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
What You See is What You Get
I was listening to music in the car the other day when the Sara Groves song "What I Thought I Wanted" came on. I'd already been pondering the way folks react to what happens to them, and this song thrust me deeper into my musing on the subject.
I was visiting Savannah, GA with my daughter. It was the SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design) Accepted Students weekend. We were treated to events that were planned with excellence and (of course) an artistic flair. We were both impressed and filled with visions of what her four years at this wonderful school - in a beautiful city - would be like. I found myself hoping that it would all work out and that she would be launched into adulthood living her dreams.
I would be less than honest if I didn't admit that in the midst of all of our excitement I didn't also have a twinge of anxiety. What if the finances don't work out? What if she makes a bad choice that changes the trajectory of her life? What if , what if, what if?
These thoughts do not rise simply out of my imagination. They come, rather from my own experience. Most of us can think of things that we thought we wanted, and in the end, got something else entirely (Sara Groves says, "What I thought I wanted and what I got instead).
There are different ways to handle it when we get something different than what we want. We probably all know people who are filled with bitterness because something(s) didn't work out as expected. Rather than enjoy the present, these folks dwell on why they cannot be happy. For them, life is absurd and meaningless. But there is another way... Others are open to whatever it was that they got instead... That openness allows them to see God's hand at work. This doesn't mean that they're making the best of a bad situation. It means that they are able to see how what they got instead was the best. The unexpected, un-looked for, and even unwanted outcomes lead to a place filled with the blessings and presence of God.
Sometimes our plans, hopes, dreams, and fervent prayers do not turn out the way we want. What comes next depends on how we respond. When we have eyes to see the hand of God working His wise and loving plans in and through our circumstances, abundant life is what we get.
I was visiting Savannah, GA with my daughter. It was the SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design) Accepted Students weekend. We were treated to events that were planned with excellence and (of course) an artistic flair. We were both impressed and filled with visions of what her four years at this wonderful school - in a beautiful city - would be like. I found myself hoping that it would all work out and that she would be launched into adulthood living her dreams.
I would be less than honest if I didn't admit that in the midst of all of our excitement I didn't also have a twinge of anxiety. What if the finances don't work out? What if she makes a bad choice that changes the trajectory of her life? What if , what if, what if?
These thoughts do not rise simply out of my imagination. They come, rather from my own experience. Most of us can think of things that we thought we wanted, and in the end, got something else entirely (Sara Groves says, "What I thought I wanted and what I got instead).
There are different ways to handle it when we get something different than what we want. We probably all know people who are filled with bitterness because something(s) didn't work out as expected. Rather than enjoy the present, these folks dwell on why they cannot be happy. For them, life is absurd and meaningless. But there is another way... Others are open to whatever it was that they got instead... That openness allows them to see God's hand at work. This doesn't mean that they're making the best of a bad situation. It means that they are able to see how what they got instead was the best. The unexpected, un-looked for, and even unwanted outcomes lead to a place filled with the blessings and presence of God.
Sometimes our plans, hopes, dreams, and fervent prayers do not turn out the way we want. What comes next depends on how we respond. When we have eyes to see the hand of God working His wise and loving plans in and through our circumstances, abundant life is what we get.
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