Understood In Context

There is very little that can be understood outside of the context in which it is said or done. One may be able to hear and fully understand a short, pithy statement because its meaning is fully contained within it. However, most of what we hear, see, and even who we are can only be understood within a much larger context.

All of us are shaped by a large body of experience and cooked in a stew that consists of our families, friends, church, etc. This was brought home to me during the past week when we said goodbye to my Uncle Ted ("One of the Good Guys"). Ted's life was lived within the context of family and church primarily, but also in relation to Kiwanis, Master Gardeners, his former life in the Social Security Administration, and much more.

As our family and friends came together last week, I was struck by how profoundly I am attached to these folks - not simply that we've shared experiences, but that my true identity can only be understood and fully known within the context of my relation to them. I am fortunate. Those connections have been loving and affirming. There are themes of love and grace, fun and adventure that run through my life's story. They are all related to other people. Some are family, some friends, and many through the church - my other family. Even the dark threads of sorrow, pain, and brokenness - when woven together with the rest appear to be part of a good story - not a sad one.

What's your context? What are the themes running through your story? I hope you're not tempted to think that you have no control over what happens in the story. You can choose to associate with those more likely to provide a positive context. I once heard someone say that you're the average of your five closest friends...

One thing is for sure: if Jesus is you closest friend, your context (if you follow him) will be one that builds a glorious identity - a great story. He is the Author and Finisher of our faith and he loves a good story.

A Society of Haters?

I was reading the news on line this morning and noticed that the 13 year old girl (Rebbecca Black) who has a YouTube song about the weekend will soon surpass Justin Bieber's song "Baby" as the most hated. I have not seen Justin Bieber's video and have not heard the song all the way through (my niece and nephews can occasionally be heard singing, "baby, baby, baby"). I have seen a part of Black's video. __________________ My daughter called me into the study a week or so ago to watch something she said was "appalling". I watched a clip of what my daughter had obviously watched in its entirety several times... I feel certain that she is one of the many who have "hated" this video. It's interesting, however mediocre the song, that anyone would be interested in "hating" the efforts of a thirteen year old girl. When I said as much to my daughter she replied that if the girl didn't want to be hated that she shouldn't have put herself out there. Hmmm... When my own daughter "put herself out there" it was in the context of performances at church (flute) which, in the early days, were well... mediocre. She wasn't "hated", however, she was loved and encouraged. ________________________ I notice that a lot of hating that happens on the web. I get my news from the Internet and at the bottom of most articles is a space for commenting. There are typically hundreds of comments, most of them full of sarcasm and hate. Maybe it's just the really angry people who feel moved to comment... It's bad enough that we feel we have to compound the bad news we hear in the news with our own tirades full of hate, but I think we cross a line when we think we have to let a 13 year old girl know that we don't like her video. I'm betting that most folk's efforts at 13 were mediocre at best (I know mine were). ________________________ There are many indications that our society is in bad shape. I think this propensity to be haters is one of the more troubling. I don't know about you, but I do not want to be defined by what I'm against or what I hate. Instead, I want people to know what I'm for - what I love.

One of the Good Guys

Have you noticed that there really aren't that many good guys? I mean bonafide, genuine good guys. The real thing. We live in an age marked by selfishness and narcissism. Good guys today are rare.

It's not glamorous or sexy being good. In fact, to be really good, one would have to be deliberately low key. Good guys - real ones - don't draw attention to themselves. I know a few of these individuals. My Uncle Ted is one of them.

Uncle Ted is a guy who shows up when he's needed. He's dependable. He offers his strength rather than his opinions. He is a man who loves his family. He's provided a stable, normal, nuclear family for his children and grand children. It's not surprising that his three kids are still married. They've had a great example to follow.

Uncle Ted is good with his hands. He offers to fix things that are broken. He grows a garden and shares the vegetables. His home is a place where people like to gather, partly because my Aunt is such a fantastic cook, and partly because he's created such a beautiful space in the country.

You won't read about Uncle Ted's antics in the paper. He won't show up in the news. He hasn't had 15 minutes of fame. But he's left his mark on everyone who knows him. His son is very much like his dad and so is his grandson. He's invested his life in others who will also be (already are) good guys. I don't think the importance of this can be overstated.

Uncle Ted is in the last days of his life. Cancer will claim him very soon. But without any sort of notoriety, Uncle Ted is leaving the world a better place than he found it. He leaves behind two good guys to step into his shoes. He leaves his mark on the hearts of too many people to count, through his quiet life and his good deeds. When those who knew Ted stand over his casket, they will tell stories of his goodness. They will say what a fine and loving man he was - that he was one of the good guys.

I know that I want to be one of the good girls. I want to leave a legacy of goodness and good deeds behind me when I go - to have raised a good girl and a good guy myself... To leave two in my place to step up into this hurting and lonely world and leave it better than they found it.

When people stand over your casket, what do you want them to say about you?

What Do You Want Me to Do For You?

A couple of weeks ago I was leading a Bible study for the Saturday Lunch Ministry at my church. The group is studying Matthew and they'd made it to chapter 20. The next day the same passage was a part of the Sunday School lesson. Hmmm... I don't know about you, but whenever I "coincidentally" encounter the same biblical passage in a short amount of time, I pay attention.

Matthew 20 consists of a parable and two others "scenes" from the life of Jesus. The parable is about the workers hired at different points during the day to work in a vineyard. Jesus stuns his hearers by having the estate manager pay those who'd only worked one hour the same as those who had worked twelve hours. This is a story that doesn't offend in the theoretical, but if you were one of the workers, you'd probably feel outrage at the unfairness.

The next scene in the chapter involves James and John's mother asking Jesus to see to it that her sons sit - one on his right and the other on his left - in the Kingdom. Jesus uses the request to reorient the disciples on what leadership in the Kingdom of God looks like - servanthood.

Finally, the chapter closes with Jesus' encounter with two blind men. When they hear that Jesus is passing by they begin to shout out to him. Jesus asks the men what they want him to do for them. They wanted to see. Jesus has compassion on them, heals them, and they followed him.

The parable about the workers in the vineyard and the vignette where James and John's mother are seeking honor and power for her sons set up opportunities for Jesus to explain what Eugene Peterson likes to call "The Great Reversal". In the healing story, the blind men have their sight restored and follow Jesus. Could these physically blind men serve as a foil for the spiritual blindness that was depicted in the previous scenes in Matthew?

As the Lenten season begins it's good to ponder the ways that we may experience blindness. The Kingdom of God operates very differently from the kingdom of the world, where we often feel very much at home. Lent is a time to shed our false beliefs about what is fair, what we deserve, and what we should have and learn to follow the Savior, who is bound for the cross.

Doing Difficult Things

A few weeks ago I wrote about Smokey, a cat that I rescued (for my niece) at an animal shelter. I had to take Smokey to the vet right away because he had a respiratory infection. After much poking, prodding, and discomfort (what I felt sure Smokey thought was the WORST day of his life) he got to go home. Smokey's doing great. He looks sleek and healthy, and my niece showers him with love every day.

Lately I've been in a season where I seem to have to do many difficult things. These days do not appear to be the best in my life. Chief among these difficult things was choosing after many tears and much prayer to send my son to military school. You may be thinking, "Pish posh! Military school? What's the big deal?" And maybe you're right. Someday I hope to look back on this and say the same thing. However, sending my son away to school meant delivering him to what I knew would be many difficult and lonely days. Maybe I've watched too many Disney movies, but it's been hard for me.

I became resolved to send my son away to school right before Christmas. We visited the school. I liked it, but he hated it. I consulted with family, friends, and my pastor. It became clear to me that it would be best for him. I knew it in the marrow of my bones. Actually sending him, however, required resolution and grit because I knew that it would be difficult for him. I believe that his time at Chamberlain-Hunt will be formative. That he'll grow as a person and as a man. I also believe that I am growing as a result of this resolve to do what's best for him despite the temporary pain.

It's the beginning days of a new year. There are lots of folks (if TV commercials are any indication) that make resolutions that may be hard to keep: diet, exercise, smoking cessation, etc. There are other worthy things to pursue. It's a great idea to resolve to be more mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy. Whatever aspect of your life you're resolved to improve, you can be certain that effort and (perhaps) a bit of pain await you. Maybe your muscles will be sore. Perhaps your heart will ache with the effort. However, in the end, you'll come out into a wider, healthier place. A place of greater freedom. May God bless you in all of your worthy resolutions.

Creating Beauty

My daughter is in the process of applying to art school (SCAD, University of the Arts, VCU, etc.). She has to write essays for these places on why she wants to study art. Here's mom's mix:

I have often said that my daughter was put on this earth to create beauty. She is at heart an artist -- whether she's performing music, drawing comics, taking pictures, writing stories or poems. Even my daughter's style of dress is more of an art form.

I wonder if I've been correct about saying that her calling is to create beauty, however. It would probably be more correct to say that she was put here to reveal or uncover the beauty that already exists. Further, it may be even more correct to say that an artist is simply one who helps others to see. After all, some things are decidedly not beautiful, but we need to see them nevertheless.

Before the modern era it was generally accepted that art should imitate life. In the main I'd have to say that I agree with this statement. An artist's depiction of what IS can highlight some important quality that should be celebrated or (in the case of injustice, pain, etc.) what needs to be addressed by society. From this perspective, artists perform an invaluable service to mankind.

Art speaks to the human heart at a deeper, more basic level than mere rhetoric. Politicians and pundits can argue endlessly and never change a single opinion. But a painting, photograph, story or song can penetrate defenses and help people to see things from a different perspective. This power can be used for good or evil to be sure. Propaganda is a perfect example of art being used to manipulate. But the classics of literature and the art world prove that the highest use of art is to affirm life and humanity.

Hopefully as my daughter pursues her passions (writing and photography) she'll use her powers for good. The opportunity to see things through the eyes of her sensitive soul should make the world a better place.

Highly Favored of God

I've been pondering Mary's call this afternoon. During the sermon this morning, our pastor mentioned in passing the fact that Mary and Joseph found no room in the inn when they arrived in Bethlehem.

In the past, I've thought some about the magnitude of what God asked Mary to do when He offered her the chance to be the mother of Jesus. It was a big risk being found pregnant with no husband. There have always been religious folks who like to enforce the rules - and according to the rules, Mary should be stoned to death... Joseph, however, made a respectable woman of Mary, after being assured by an angel that the baby was in fact, God's.

Then, when it was time to deliver the baby, Mary and Joseph find that there's no room in the inn. Instead they are consigned to a stable where Mary suffers the pain of childbirth with no mother around to support her and no comforts.

She must have been an extraordinary woman. If it was me I'd be saying, "Isn't it enough O Lord that I took the risk of having this child? Couldn't you have at least found us a decent room? If we're doing your will, why don't you make it just a little easier on us? "

I think we often make the mistake of thinking that the Lord's favor means an easy road. But if God did not offer the mother of his child an easy burden, I think it's fair to say that we shouldn't expect to be on easy street just because we're following His plans.

Being favored by God means that He offers us the incredible opportunity to participate with Him in what He's doing. We are offered an adventure not a couch. So... if you're feeling a bit put out with all that's on your plate, think of Mary and Joseph. They were given perhaps the greatest honor that God ever bestowed - fostering his Son. They found themselves facing the misunderstanding of the good people in Nazareth, an uncomfortable journey to Bethlehem, followed by painful labor in a stable, and finally fleeing to Egypt with a baby in tow. Though this doesn't sound much like a Currier and Ives scene, it is the biblical one.