Building Bikes

This week I attended a leadership retreat with the company I work for. It's a yearly event where we focus on honing our skills and refocusing on the important task of guiding our company forward. Each year we attend meetings, share ideas and network, and of course, participate in a team building exercise. In the past we've hiked, toured The Biltmore House, done an "iron chef" activity... You get the picture. Fun stuff. Fun stuff designed to build the team.

This year, we did the usual meeting stuff, but the team building was different. We built 21 bicycles for orphans. There were team building exercises all along the way - business lessons - you know, to make us more aware of ourselves and our teams. There was also plenty of fun in the process. But in the end, we had built bikes for kids who needed them. It felt better than anything we'd done as a team before.

We (Americans) spend a lot of time worrying about self actualization in one way or another. Even though we may define it in different ways, we think we owe it to ourselves to be fully developed - fully actualized. It's pretty easy to fall prey to the idea that it's all about us - who we are and what we have. The bike building exercise points out an important truth: we can in fact become better developed people and serve others at the same time. In fact, the greatest leaders are those whose mission it is to serve. No one could say it better than Jesus, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all."

Subject to Change

Terms & conditions (or T's & C's as we refer to them in my industry) define the specifications of restrictions for the use of goods or services. Whenever you sign a contract, it's wise to have a look at the terms and conditions so that you'll know just what you're getting yourself into - and what options you have to get out of it if necessary. Some folks pay no attention to the T's & C's until something goes wrong...

Life itself doesn't really come with terms and conditions. Sometimes we assume that we have legitimate rights to certain things, and when something goes "wrong" begin to look for redress as if a contract has been violated. What sorts of things do we tend to feel entitled to? Health, prosperity, blue skies, clear sailing, etc. Maybe you're not even aware you have these expectations until something happens.

That "something" could be: a job loss, illness, financial crisis, divorce, or the death of a loved one. Things like these happen, and we're tempted to think that the terms and conditions of our lives have been violated.

St. Patrick's Day is coming up in a couple of days. I was reminded about his life in some reading I've been doing recently. St. Patrick was the son of a British government official. When he was a teenager, the Roman Legions were pulling out of the western portion of the Roman Empire. Their absence set the stage for raiding, pillaging, and plundering by the very uncivilized Irish. Patrick was caught up in a raid and was taken as a slave. His life went from one of privilege to one of powerlessness. The terms and conditions changed dramatically for him.

Patrick met Christ while in the fields working as a shepherd. After a time, he found an opportunity to escape. He told God that if he was successful in his plans to get away, that he'd come back one day to evangelize the Irish. There just happened to be a ship laying at harbor which provide the perfect means for him to make his escape. The rest is history. Patrick did come back and under his leadership, Ireland became the center of a very vital and evangelistic group of Christians. Though Patrick had his struggles, he eventually responded positively to the changes in his life. It wasn't instant or easy, but in the end, great good came from his change of circumstances.

Eventually everyone will face what they believe to be a change in the T's & C's of life. When it happens you've got a choice. You can be bitter. You could adopt a new identity - that of a victim. You could bear up with quiet resignation. Or... you could live creatively. You could live into the new reality with an attentiveness that opens the door to adventure and meaning. It won't be instant. There's no fairy dust. Time and openness and trust are required. Time to heal, openness to change, and trust in the God - who's in control and means good for you.

On March 19th Greensboro College will host an art show called "Subject to Change". There are four artists who will show for the first time that night (5-7 pm). Each one of them chose to respond creatively to very challenging circumstances. If you're in the Greensboro area consider stopping by. Maybe you'll be inspired.

When The Joke's On You

God has an amazing sense of humor. He has a keen sense of the ironic, and loves surprises. God likes to put little twists into the plots of the stories He tells. He revels in the unexpected. Often when humans think of God they think of words like dour and humorless. The biblical record reveals Someone very different.

Take the readings from the Lectionary reading for this Sunday: In Genesis 17 we find God’s third enunciation of covenant with Abraham. The first time God appeared to Abraham in Genesis 12, Abraham was 75 years old. God tells Abraham at that time that He will make Abraham into a great nation and that all of the nations of the earth will be blessed through him. Abraham believes and sets out at 75 years of age to settle in a new place many miles away.


In Genesis 15 God appears again to Abraham. This time God tells Abraham that his descendants will be as numerous as the stars in the heavens. Eleven years have passed since God first called Abraham. He still doesn’t have any children. He’s 86 for crying out loud! Abraham and Sarah figure that maybe they need to think out of the box. Maybe God wants them to get creative in solving the problem of an heir. So that’s what they do. They “solve” the problem with Sarah’s slave Hagar, and along comes Ishmael.

When Abraham’s 99 God appears to him again. God reaffirms His promises to Abraham – to bless him and to make him numerous. Kings and nations will come from Abraham. It’s now that God changes Abraham’s name from “Abram” or “honored father” to “Abraham” meaning “father of many”. God not only changes Abraham’s name, Sarai becomes Sarah, and Sarah is included as a full partner in God’s promises and plan. God tells Abraham that He will give him a son by Sarah. It is this son who will inherit the covenant. Not Ishmael.


What’s Abraham’s response? He falls on his face and laughs - at first. Listen to some of the verses that were not included in today’s lection: “Abraham fell face down; he laughed and said to himself, ‘Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?’ And Abraham said to God, ‘If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!’" At first Abraham finds God’s little joke funny. But then…… hadn’t Abraham and Sarah already solved the problem of an heir? Why, then does God insist on this complication?

Here’s the thing: God is working His plan out in His way. The plan’s very particular; and God doesn’t need Abraham and Sarah’s help to bring it to fruition. He wants to do the impossible in their lives. All the nations of the earth will be blessed through Abraham, but it’s really God’s work, not Abraham’s.


Abraham and Sarah are on the receiving end of covenant life with God and so are we. In Romans, Paul says that we who live by faith are all Abraham’s children. We too are heirs and are living in the presence of the God who brings the dead to life and calls into existence things that did not exist. God is still working out His plans: on the earth, in our church, and in our lives. We must remember, though, that the plans are His and He’ll work them out in unexpected sometime counter-intuitive ways. It may be that the very times we’re tempted to fall on our faces laughing are the very times we need to perk up and pay attention. So...What’s got you laughing?

The Last Enemy to be Destroyed

On Sunday we buried the remains of my ex-husband Mike. He died almost five months ago, but for various reasons, five months passed before his ashes were put in the ground.

I hate the graveyard. I hate it in spite of the fact that I'm a Christian and firmly believe in the resurrection. Knowing that your loved one is in a better place - is free from suffering - doesn't change the fact that they're gone from your immediate life. Every headstone in a cemetery represents an empty seat at some one's table. Tears, grief, and loss.

Our inner scream of protest when someone close to us dies (or when someone innocent is cut off too soon) is evidence that humans weren't really created to die this way. Ironically, I think that it's proof that another kind of life was intended for us: a life with no dying, disease, sorrow...

Christians believe that death has been defeated in the resurrection of Jesus. Defeated yes - but not yet destroyed. George Eldon Ladd uses the analogy of D-Day verses V-E day to talk about the difference. When the Allies landed on the beaches of Normandy, the war (in Europe) was essentially won. Many more people would have do die before it was over, but the outcome was assured.

Christ's victory on the cross ("victory" and "cross" - again a lovely irony) was D-Day for death. We can celebrate that fact as Christians -even in our grief. One day every tear will be wiped away. Every wrong will be set right.

I Corinthians 15:24-26 "Then the end will come, when he hands over the kingdom to God the Father after he has destroyed all dominion, authority and power. For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. The last enemy to be destroyed is death."

Reorientation

"I encounter such constant and widespread lying about reality each day and meet with such skilled and systematic distortion of the truth that I’m always in danger of losing my grip on reality. The reality, of course, is that God is sovereign and Christ is savior. The reality is that prayer is my mother tongue and the Eucharist my basic food. The reality is that baptism, not Myers-Briggs, defines who I am. The reality is, as Leon Bloy so poignantly put it, that 'the only sadness is not to be a saint.'" -- Eugene Peterson

Lately I've had lots of conversations about the current economic crisis. People are scared. How far will it go? How much money will I lose? Will I lose my job, my home, my retirement?

I was talking to my sister earlier today about a financial transaction she was going to do. She'd decided what to do with all but $1,000. She said that she'd been praying about it - what to do with that last bit of her money that she was undecided about... I told her that maybe she should ask God what he wanted her to do with His $1,000.

I talked with a friend of mine yesterday, who just got back from a short term mission in Honduras. She was deeply impacted by the people there and the poverty. She experienced a change in her heart that she wants to last. Her values and presuppositions about what's normal were changed - reoriented.

It's easy to fall into thinking that the way we live and what we have is normal. We forget that the VAST majority of people on the planet do not live the way we do. We worry about missing a meal when many won't eat at all today. My kids both believe that they're entitled to a car to drive (of their own), cell phones, whatever clothes or jewelry, video game, etc. that catches their fancy. Meanwhile there are kids who can't grow hair because they're malnourished.

God blesses us so that we can be a blessing to others. Period. Not so that we can have a McMansion, or a great retirement, the latest gadget, etc. While there is nothing inherently wrong with being rich, we shouldn't think that it's an end in itself. We shouldn't set our heart on it or put our trust in it (as the current financial crisis make abundantly clear). Our hearts should be set on God - knowing Him and making Him known.

Maybe this financial crisis is part of God's heart of love for us - His mercy. Maybe it's an opportunity to reorient our minds and hearts.

No Pain No Gain

Lately there's a man who has been pretty persistent in asking me out. In fact, just about every time I talk with him there's a none to subtle attempt to see if the door's just a little bit open for him. What I find very interesting about this is that he and his wife just separated in November.
He told me that he'd "finally" gotten through his ordeal. He's ready to get on with his life. Finally? It's only been three months!

I haven't told him yet (but I will when the opportunity presents) that he's not through his ordeal yet. Not by a long shot. This guy was married 20+ years. You don't get over a relationship of that length in 3 months - heck maybe not in 3 years. He doesn't need a date. He needs friends. He needs support. He needs to feel his hurt until he's healed.

Since my divorce I've paid attention in a way I didn't before to the different methods of dealing with emotional or psychic pain. I remember being newly separated. I wanted to be ready to move on - ready to love and be loved again. I thought that I'd grieved the end of my marriage during the years it was dying. Wrong! I've watched others dull the pain of losing a relationship by quickly going into another one, only to find themselves reliving history.

Any situation that causes us to experience emotional, spiritual, or psychic pain and stress takes us to a special place. Maybe it's not divorce, it's the death of someone dear and significant, or a job loss, or an illness. When faced with a time like this, it's tempting to try to avoid processing how we feel about it.

Some times we're forced to continue to perform daily tasks that make it very difficult to work through what's happened to us. I know a guy whose wife left him with several young children to take care of. At the time, he only had the energy to put one foot in front of the other. His situation is very different now. He's remarried and his children are older. Guess what? Just because his circumstances have changed doesn't mean that he still doesn't have some old issues to work through.

It's not really any different from hurting your body. You can cut yourself, break a bone, blow your ACL or any number of other things. The time it takes to heal depends on the type and severity of the injury. What it takes to heal is also determined by the kind of injury too. If you cut yourself maybe you just need a bandaid and some ointment for a couple of days. If you break a bone it's a bit more complicated. If you blow your ACL, you're in for a couple of years of healing and rehab.

Do you remember earlier this year when Shawne Merriman (linebacker for the San Diego Chargers) struggled about whether or not to play this season with two torn ligaments in his knee? He didn't really want to face the fact that he needed surgery - and consequently to sit out the season- in order to get well. He flirted with possibly playing injured and prematurely ending his career by making his injury worse. Why?

I think we Americans don't like to be on the injured reserve list. We'd rather move forward and forget about pain - physical or psychic. Facing pain means facing our vulnerability. Facing pain sometimes means facing our own sinfulness.

I empathize with the guy who's been asking me out. I know how he feels. I've been there myself. If he's like me, he may be afraid that there's no light at the end of the tunnel he's walking through... But there is.

If you're experiencing something difficult, don't numb down. Don't avoid facing things - or facing yourself. Don't be afraid of the injured reserve. The place you fear is, in reality, a place of much blessing and growth. It's a doorway into a wider place. Enter into the experience fully and receive undreamed of blessings from the hand of God.

Alone & Yet Not Alone

The following requires no commentary:

"In every single one of us there is a place of solitude no human relationship can fill, not even the deepest love between two individuals. Anyone who does not accept this solitude sooner or later revolts against other people and against God himself.

And yet you are never alone. Let yourself be plumbed to the depths, and you will realize that everyone is created for a presence. There, in your heart of hearts, in that place where no two people are alike, Christ is waiting for you. And there the unexpected happens."
-Brother Roger of Taizé, Parable of Community