Try, Try Again

OK... you may think this is silly... but here goes. Lately I've been playing a solitaire game called FreeCell. I'd heard several people say that it's possible to win every game. At first I did not believe it. It turns out that it's true.

Since I figured out that it is indeed possible to win every game, the way I play has changed. I play until I win the game. Sometimes that means undoing several moves I've made - sometimes all the way back to the beginning. Though it requires patience and perseverance, I can win every game.

It's made me wonder. If I knew that I'd be successful, how would it change the way I live? Would I persist? Would I be willing to scrap all the moves I'd made and begin again? How about you?

Babies and toddlers know how to persevere. They babble until they learn to communicate with words. They scoot, and crawl, and cruise until they learn to walk. They practice every skill they want to learn continually. And they don't seem to mind.

Most of the things that I need to learn these days are soft skills - mostly they're relational. And I'll admit that I often despair that I'll ever get it. But playing FreeCell has reminded me that I shouldn't give up hope.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

The Green Light At the End of the Dock

Check out this portion of my daughter's blog:

"baby eyes and an open heart. a free spirit and a longing for adventure.dying to explore this big, big world.i have become the most restless being ever.i'm worse than a ghost caught in a haunted house,a sparrow trapped in a cage.a prisoner with his hands through the bars in his cell. slaves escaping in the dead of night for freedom. where is the relief for such a restless spirit?in this big, big world.

we walk through this life trying to find a light in the dark to guide our stumbling feet. the green light at the end of the dock on the other side of the water. a reason to keep ourselves alive.it seems i haven't found mine yet,but it's somewhere in this big, big world.

it seems i haven't found mine yet,but it's somewhere in this big, big world. am i too occupied, or not occupied enough?i am trapped beneath a life that i know i don't want. the big blue sky is my limit, and i can do anything.i want to reach for it and run for it and jump into it so i don't have to live this mousetrap of a life that i am living. cut the chains, set me free.free to explore this big, big world"

The green light at the end of the dock is an obvious reference to The Great Gatsby. It breaks my heart to read of her longing for something more.

Then I turn to today's Lectionary. The morning Psalm is Psalm 84:

Psalm 84
How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD of hosts!
My soul longs, indeed it faints for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God.

Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, at your altars, O LORD of hosts, my King and my God.

Happy are those who live in your house,ever singing your praise.

Selah

Happy are those whose strength is in you, in whose heart are the highways to Zion.

As they go through the valley of Baca they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools.

They go from strength to strength; the God of gods will be seen in Zion. O LORD God of hosts, hear my prayer; give ear, O God of Jacob!
Selah

Behold our shield, O God; look on the face of your anointed.

For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than live in the tents of wickedness.

For the LORD God is a sun and shield;he bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does the LORD withhold from those who walk uprightly.

O LORD of hosts, happy is everyone who trusts in you.

My daughter is yearning for something more - something bigger. The truth is, all of us need a green light at the end of the dock. Unlike Gatsby, however, the Someone we need most is not beyond our reach. In fact, that Someone reaches out to us with steadfast love, and offers to fulfill our deepest longings.

Puzzling

Lately I've been into working jigsaw puzzles. My passion for puzzles began when I discovered the on-line daily puzzles on msn games. Each day three fresh puzzles are posted, and I began to work them over breakfast.

It didn't take long for me to decide that maybe I needed to purchase some real puzzles that would take longer than 10 or 15 minutes to put together. So... out I went to Wal-Mart to feed my new found enthusiasm.

Puzzles are relaxing. I also believe they're good for your brain. But there's something else that I'm beginning to understand from puzzles... It has to do with discernment.

When I'm working a puzzle, I like to sort out the pieces that I think will go together into groups. Then as I work on one part of the puzzle or another, the process of finding the right piece is made easier because I don't have to look all over the table. What I find, however, is that sometimes I've sorted a piece into the wrong group. I think, for example that I have a piece of sky, but what I really have is part of a chair...

Invariably there's a point in my puzzle working where I begin to look more closely at each piece of puzzle to discern if I have it in the proper pile. And just as invariably, I find that what I thought was part of one thing is really something very different.

I think that life is very like a jigsaw puzzle (maybe that's why I like them so much). It's a beautiful whole, but broken up into many - sometimes bewildering - pieces. Just when you think you've got everything sorted out, you find a piece that doesn't fit. When it happens in life it's very frustrating, but jigsaw puzzles are teaching me to slow down and look more closely. What doesn't fit in one part of the puzzle fits beautifully into its proper place.

May God grant us eyes that see (discern) and minds that understand how everything in my life and yours fits together to complete a glorious picture of His grace and mercy.

Tripping Together is Better Than Falling Apart

The title of this blog comes from a line in a Christine Dente song entitled, "Gotta Go Through". It's a song about the pain of living in community. It's not a song that suggests that it's better NOT to live in community - but instead that community life forces to "go through" things that lead us into another place. A better place.

America is a land that prizes individualism. We're also a consumer driven culture. Individualism and consumerism make community life difficult, whether the community in question is a family or a church. When the going gets tough - when life together gets painful, it seems easier to get up and run.

The Trinity is a model of community, existing together in a circle dance of love and mutuality. The relationship in the Godhead is a picture of what life together is meant to be like for us: love, appreciation, support, and collaboration.

God designed us to live in community. Even though our relationships are fraught with pain and difficulty, it is in relationship that we grow and develop into fully actualized people. We do indeed gotta go through. Hang in there. It's worth it.

Doomed To Repeat It

They say that those who don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it. Up until the time of the Crusades, Islam peacefully coexisted with Christianity. The violence that characterizes some of Islam today was born out of the brutality meted out on Muslims, Jews, and Christians alike by the crusaders who couldn't really tell one Middle Eastern person from another. It's a sad and shameful chapter in the history of the West.

I (unfortunately) looked as some pictures taken in the Abu Ghraib prison. They show detainees being (allegedly) abused. The story used the word "allegedly" several times. Maybe there's a story behind the story that we're not privy to, but if not, it certainly looks like abuse to me. Most disturbing of all of the pictures were the ones with soldiers smiling over the death or dehumanization of the prisoners. Again... maybe there's a story behind the story. I'm not really sure that I believe there's ever any good reason to dehumanize someone.

I don't know about you, but I want to remember the past and learn from it. I want to avoid the mistakes I've made before. I want to face my sin and brokenness and forgive myself - God has already. When I encounter sin and brokenness in others, or in institutions (including the church) I want to extend grace and forgiveness. This is the only way to live the abundant life. The only way to sing a new song. The only way to avoid being doomed to repeat the past.

The Fellowship of Suffering

This week my colleagues and I traveled to our region headquarters for a dreaded quarterly review. During the review we recap our results - sales, key performance indicators, etc., and the initiatives we have in place for the upcoming quarter. It doesn't sound too bad, right?

Well trust me, it's no picnic - mainly due to the fact that regardless of what you've accomplished or how hard you've worked, you're in danger of embarrassment or worse from our region's head man. He's the kind of guy that believes in tough love - and that's putting it mildly. We'd all rather have a root canal than a quarterly review.

I was pondering the value of these quarterly exercises on my drive home Wednesday afternoon. We'd heard that we were the only region in our area doing a review this quarter, and I spent some time thinking about the value. It did occur to me that in this economy there's something to be said for keeping your foot on the gas peddle. We do need to be sure we're striving toward the right things and doing the right things in the right way.

But there's a greater value that my colleagues and I realize, and that's the fellowship of suffering. Maybe it sounds crazy, but we've been doing these together for several years. Each time it's excruciating. But something happens between us and among us as we suffer through them together. We bond. In fact, I've never been a part of a team as personally committed to each other as we are. I think that suffering together has a lot to do with it.

Most Americans spend a good deal of time and energy attempting to avoid suffering. I'm guessing that most of the world's people accept suffering as an inevitable part of life. Not Americans. The American Dream is a dream that we have enough of everything - money, health, knowledge, etc. to avoid unpleasantness. Life's better that way - right?

Maybe not. I think there's something to be said for the fellowship of suffering. Years from now when I look back on my life, I'll treasure those days spent in a windowless room toiling and laughing and praying (yes, praying) with my friends as we prepare to give an accounting of our efforts of the previous quarter.

In the same way, maybe our country will look back on these days of economic uncertainty and belt tightening as some of our best times. Times to be together, to learn to watch out for one another, to toil and laugh and pray together for the future - to share our humanity. Let's enjoy this time - these are the good ole days.

Rise Up

Easter has to be one of my favorite days. After the agony of holy week we get to celebrate the victory of Easter. In the chancel area of our church there's a cross covered with Easter lilies today. I saw crosses outside of other churches covered in flowers too. It's an incredibly beautiful reminder that God is victorious over sin and death through Christ.

The fact that the church chose the cross as its defining symbol makes sense because it was on the cross that Jesus won the decisive victory. But if you think about it from a first century perspective, it's an odd choice. The cross was a symbol of the most shameful kind of death a person could die. It was reserved for those who deserved a humiliating and excruciating end. Isn't it amazing the the Lord of Glory, the Creator and Sustainer of all gave up his life on a cross?!

Churches cover those instruments of torture with flowers on Easter Sunday. Why? Because that terrible symbol of suffering is transformed into a symbol of victory. Death could not hold him. Love wins - and not quietly or subtly - love wins with resounding shouts of victory. It's simply another example of God's exquisite sense of irony. Flowers covering the cross is a fitting picture of a great reversal.

That same victory - over sin and death and pain - is ours today. We all have wounds that have led to death - the death of some area of our lives, or of a relationship. We (like the disciples) may think that the story is over. But God, in Christ, is victorious. He is not content to see any part of you or me left in the tomb. In his resurrection appearances, Jesus' wounds were evidence of God's great power. Likewise, though we will certainly bear scars from many things, our wounds are transformed into evidence of God's great power, victory, and love if we will only allow them to be.

Ben Shive sings a song about the final judgement called "Rise Up". I think it's actually a great reminder that the Easter victory will one day be consummated, and on that day all will be made right:

Every stone that makes you stumble
And cuts you when you fall
Every serpent here that strikes your heel
To curse you when you crawl
The King of Love one day will crush them all

And every sad seduction
And every clever lie
Every word that woos and wounds
The pilgrim children of the sky
The King of Love will break them by and by

And you will rise up in the end
You will rise up in the end
I know the night is cruel
But the day is coming soon
And you will rise up in the end

All praise to the King of Love who's not content to leave us wounded and dead and alone in our shame; but who instead claims, redeems, and heals us; the One who causes those places of death to bloom with new life and beauty.

Dying Alone

I attended a couple of services yesterday (Maundy Thursday). In the first one the Gethsemane story was read, beginning with Jesus predicting Peter's denial. It is significant that this story appears in all four Gospel accounts. In the evening service I attended, passages from Jesus' final week on earth were read, beginning with the triumphal entry into Jerusalem and ending with Jesus' burial.

I'm struck by several things:

How dramatically and quickly the crowds turned against Jesus. Jesus spent three years preaching, teaching, healing, and befriending those who were left out of traditional "in crowds". In spite of all of the good he did for so many people, when Jesus disappointed their expectations, they turned against him, forgetting every good word and deed. People are fickle. I like to think that I'm a consistent person, but it's only wishful thinking. When things don't turn out like I expect, my constancy fades. How about you?

More surprising is how quickly Jesus' friends let him down. These guys were close to Jesus - sharing meals and travels. If any knew his heart, his worth, it was the disciples. One of them betrayed him, one denied knowing him, and they all deserted him when he was arrested. As I mentioned above, Peter's denial is recorded in all four Gospels. In Luke's account, Jesus not only foretells Peter's denial, says that he will turn back (toward Jesus) and that when he does, he should strengthen his brothers. Incredible words of encouragement for all of us who let our Lord down.

Jesus' face was set toward what he had to do, but he dreaded the suffering he knew he'd have to endure. In Gethsemane he struggled - and his friends slept. Again a description of people who loved Jesus - adored him, but couldn't watch and pray for him for even an hour. I think that these details, like the prediction of Peter's denial, are there for our encouragement. I don't know about you, but I'd have probably fallen asleep too.

I find myself in so many of the characters depicted in the Passion narrative. Jesus died for all of those faithless characters. He died for me too. I'm awed and amazed by the fact that he went through with it - even though he could have chosen not to. He could have come down from the cross instead of enduring the searing physical pain of crucifixion and the emotional pain of the insults hurled in his direction. Instead, he chose to give up his life for his faithless friends and the fickle crowds. For you and me. Thanks be to God!

Building Bikes

This week I attended a leadership retreat with the company I work for. It's a yearly event where we focus on honing our skills and refocusing on the important task of guiding our company forward. Each year we attend meetings, share ideas and network, and of course, participate in a team building exercise. In the past we've hiked, toured The Biltmore House, done an "iron chef" activity... You get the picture. Fun stuff. Fun stuff designed to build the team.

This year, we did the usual meeting stuff, but the team building was different. We built 21 bicycles for orphans. There were team building exercises all along the way - business lessons - you know, to make us more aware of ourselves and our teams. There was also plenty of fun in the process. But in the end, we had built bikes for kids who needed them. It felt better than anything we'd done as a team before.

We (Americans) spend a lot of time worrying about self actualization in one way or another. Even though we may define it in different ways, we think we owe it to ourselves to be fully developed - fully actualized. It's pretty easy to fall prey to the idea that it's all about us - who we are and what we have. The bike building exercise points out an important truth: we can in fact become better developed people and serve others at the same time. In fact, the greatest leaders are those whose mission it is to serve. No one could say it better than Jesus, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all."

Subject to Change

Terms & conditions (or T's & C's as we refer to them in my industry) define the specifications of restrictions for the use of goods or services. Whenever you sign a contract, it's wise to have a look at the terms and conditions so that you'll know just what you're getting yourself into - and what options you have to get out of it if necessary. Some folks pay no attention to the T's & C's until something goes wrong...

Life itself doesn't really come with terms and conditions. Sometimes we assume that we have legitimate rights to certain things, and when something goes "wrong" begin to look for redress as if a contract has been violated. What sorts of things do we tend to feel entitled to? Health, prosperity, blue skies, clear sailing, etc. Maybe you're not even aware you have these expectations until something happens.

That "something" could be: a job loss, illness, financial crisis, divorce, or the death of a loved one. Things like these happen, and we're tempted to think that the terms and conditions of our lives have been violated.

St. Patrick's Day is coming up in a couple of days. I was reminded about his life in some reading I've been doing recently. St. Patrick was the son of a British government official. When he was a teenager, the Roman Legions were pulling out of the western portion of the Roman Empire. Their absence set the stage for raiding, pillaging, and plundering by the very uncivilized Irish. Patrick was caught up in a raid and was taken as a slave. His life went from one of privilege to one of powerlessness. The terms and conditions changed dramatically for him.

Patrick met Christ while in the fields working as a shepherd. After a time, he found an opportunity to escape. He told God that if he was successful in his plans to get away, that he'd come back one day to evangelize the Irish. There just happened to be a ship laying at harbor which provide the perfect means for him to make his escape. The rest is history. Patrick did come back and under his leadership, Ireland became the center of a very vital and evangelistic group of Christians. Though Patrick had his struggles, he eventually responded positively to the changes in his life. It wasn't instant or easy, but in the end, great good came from his change of circumstances.

Eventually everyone will face what they believe to be a change in the T's & C's of life. When it happens you've got a choice. You can be bitter. You could adopt a new identity - that of a victim. You could bear up with quiet resignation. Or... you could live creatively. You could live into the new reality with an attentiveness that opens the door to adventure and meaning. It won't be instant. There's no fairy dust. Time and openness and trust are required. Time to heal, openness to change, and trust in the God - who's in control and means good for you.

On March 19th Greensboro College will host an art show called "Subject to Change". There are four artists who will show for the first time that night (5-7 pm). Each one of them chose to respond creatively to very challenging circumstances. If you're in the Greensboro area consider stopping by. Maybe you'll be inspired.

When The Joke's On You

God has an amazing sense of humor. He has a keen sense of the ironic, and loves surprises. God likes to put little twists into the plots of the stories He tells. He revels in the unexpected. Often when humans think of God they think of words like dour and humorless. The biblical record reveals Someone very different.

Take the readings from the Lectionary reading for this Sunday: In Genesis 17 we find God’s third enunciation of covenant with Abraham. The first time God appeared to Abraham in Genesis 12, Abraham was 75 years old. God tells Abraham at that time that He will make Abraham into a great nation and that all of the nations of the earth will be blessed through him. Abraham believes and sets out at 75 years of age to settle in a new place many miles away.


In Genesis 15 God appears again to Abraham. This time God tells Abraham that his descendants will be as numerous as the stars in the heavens. Eleven years have passed since God first called Abraham. He still doesn’t have any children. He’s 86 for crying out loud! Abraham and Sarah figure that maybe they need to think out of the box. Maybe God wants them to get creative in solving the problem of an heir. So that’s what they do. They “solve” the problem with Sarah’s slave Hagar, and along comes Ishmael.

When Abraham’s 99 God appears to him again. God reaffirms His promises to Abraham – to bless him and to make him numerous. Kings and nations will come from Abraham. It’s now that God changes Abraham’s name from “Abram” or “honored father” to “Abraham” meaning “father of many”. God not only changes Abraham’s name, Sarai becomes Sarah, and Sarah is included as a full partner in God’s promises and plan. God tells Abraham that He will give him a son by Sarah. It is this son who will inherit the covenant. Not Ishmael.


What’s Abraham’s response? He falls on his face and laughs - at first. Listen to some of the verses that were not included in today’s lection: “Abraham fell face down; he laughed and said to himself, ‘Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?’ And Abraham said to God, ‘If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!’" At first Abraham finds God’s little joke funny. But then…… hadn’t Abraham and Sarah already solved the problem of an heir? Why, then does God insist on this complication?

Here’s the thing: God is working His plan out in His way. The plan’s very particular; and God doesn’t need Abraham and Sarah’s help to bring it to fruition. He wants to do the impossible in their lives. All the nations of the earth will be blessed through Abraham, but it’s really God’s work, not Abraham’s.


Abraham and Sarah are on the receiving end of covenant life with God and so are we. In Romans, Paul says that we who live by faith are all Abraham’s children. We too are heirs and are living in the presence of the God who brings the dead to life and calls into existence things that did not exist. God is still working out His plans: on the earth, in our church, and in our lives. We must remember, though, that the plans are His and He’ll work them out in unexpected sometime counter-intuitive ways. It may be that the very times we’re tempted to fall on our faces laughing are the very times we need to perk up and pay attention. So...What’s got you laughing?

The Last Enemy to be Destroyed

On Sunday we buried the remains of my ex-husband Mike. He died almost five months ago, but for various reasons, five months passed before his ashes were put in the ground.

I hate the graveyard. I hate it in spite of the fact that I'm a Christian and firmly believe in the resurrection. Knowing that your loved one is in a better place - is free from suffering - doesn't change the fact that they're gone from your immediate life. Every headstone in a cemetery represents an empty seat at some one's table. Tears, grief, and loss.

Our inner scream of protest when someone close to us dies (or when someone innocent is cut off too soon) is evidence that humans weren't really created to die this way. Ironically, I think that it's proof that another kind of life was intended for us: a life with no dying, disease, sorrow...

Christians believe that death has been defeated in the resurrection of Jesus. Defeated yes - but not yet destroyed. George Eldon Ladd uses the analogy of D-Day verses V-E day to talk about the difference. When the Allies landed on the beaches of Normandy, the war (in Europe) was essentially won. Many more people would have do die before it was over, but the outcome was assured.

Christ's victory on the cross ("victory" and "cross" - again a lovely irony) was D-Day for death. We can celebrate that fact as Christians -even in our grief. One day every tear will be wiped away. Every wrong will be set right.

I Corinthians 15:24-26 "Then the end will come, when he hands over the kingdom to God the Father after he has destroyed all dominion, authority and power. For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. The last enemy to be destroyed is death."

Reorientation

"I encounter such constant and widespread lying about reality each day and meet with such skilled and systematic distortion of the truth that I’m always in danger of losing my grip on reality. The reality, of course, is that God is sovereign and Christ is savior. The reality is that prayer is my mother tongue and the Eucharist my basic food. The reality is that baptism, not Myers-Briggs, defines who I am. The reality is, as Leon Bloy so poignantly put it, that 'the only sadness is not to be a saint.'" -- Eugene Peterson

Lately I've had lots of conversations about the current economic crisis. People are scared. How far will it go? How much money will I lose? Will I lose my job, my home, my retirement?

I was talking to my sister earlier today about a financial transaction she was going to do. She'd decided what to do with all but $1,000. She said that she'd been praying about it - what to do with that last bit of her money that she was undecided about... I told her that maybe she should ask God what he wanted her to do with His $1,000.

I talked with a friend of mine yesterday, who just got back from a short term mission in Honduras. She was deeply impacted by the people there and the poverty. She experienced a change in her heart that she wants to last. Her values and presuppositions about what's normal were changed - reoriented.

It's easy to fall into thinking that the way we live and what we have is normal. We forget that the VAST majority of people on the planet do not live the way we do. We worry about missing a meal when many won't eat at all today. My kids both believe that they're entitled to a car to drive (of their own), cell phones, whatever clothes or jewelry, video game, etc. that catches their fancy. Meanwhile there are kids who can't grow hair because they're malnourished.

God blesses us so that we can be a blessing to others. Period. Not so that we can have a McMansion, or a great retirement, the latest gadget, etc. While there is nothing inherently wrong with being rich, we shouldn't think that it's an end in itself. We shouldn't set our heart on it or put our trust in it (as the current financial crisis make abundantly clear). Our hearts should be set on God - knowing Him and making Him known.

Maybe this financial crisis is part of God's heart of love for us - His mercy. Maybe it's an opportunity to reorient our minds and hearts.

No Pain No Gain

Lately there's a man who has been pretty persistent in asking me out. In fact, just about every time I talk with him there's a none to subtle attempt to see if the door's just a little bit open for him. What I find very interesting about this is that he and his wife just separated in November.
He told me that he'd "finally" gotten through his ordeal. He's ready to get on with his life. Finally? It's only been three months!

I haven't told him yet (but I will when the opportunity presents) that he's not through his ordeal yet. Not by a long shot. This guy was married 20+ years. You don't get over a relationship of that length in 3 months - heck maybe not in 3 years. He doesn't need a date. He needs friends. He needs support. He needs to feel his hurt until he's healed.

Since my divorce I've paid attention in a way I didn't before to the different methods of dealing with emotional or psychic pain. I remember being newly separated. I wanted to be ready to move on - ready to love and be loved again. I thought that I'd grieved the end of my marriage during the years it was dying. Wrong! I've watched others dull the pain of losing a relationship by quickly going into another one, only to find themselves reliving history.

Any situation that causes us to experience emotional, spiritual, or psychic pain and stress takes us to a special place. Maybe it's not divorce, it's the death of someone dear and significant, or a job loss, or an illness. When faced with a time like this, it's tempting to try to avoid processing how we feel about it.

Some times we're forced to continue to perform daily tasks that make it very difficult to work through what's happened to us. I know a guy whose wife left him with several young children to take care of. At the time, he only had the energy to put one foot in front of the other. His situation is very different now. He's remarried and his children are older. Guess what? Just because his circumstances have changed doesn't mean that he still doesn't have some old issues to work through.

It's not really any different from hurting your body. You can cut yourself, break a bone, blow your ACL or any number of other things. The time it takes to heal depends on the type and severity of the injury. What it takes to heal is also determined by the kind of injury too. If you cut yourself maybe you just need a bandaid and some ointment for a couple of days. If you break a bone it's a bit more complicated. If you blow your ACL, you're in for a couple of years of healing and rehab.

Do you remember earlier this year when Shawne Merriman (linebacker for the San Diego Chargers) struggled about whether or not to play this season with two torn ligaments in his knee? He didn't really want to face the fact that he needed surgery - and consequently to sit out the season- in order to get well. He flirted with possibly playing injured and prematurely ending his career by making his injury worse. Why?

I think we Americans don't like to be on the injured reserve list. We'd rather move forward and forget about pain - physical or psychic. Facing pain means facing our vulnerability. Facing pain sometimes means facing our own sinfulness.

I empathize with the guy who's been asking me out. I know how he feels. I've been there myself. If he's like me, he may be afraid that there's no light at the end of the tunnel he's walking through... But there is.

If you're experiencing something difficult, don't numb down. Don't avoid facing things - or facing yourself. Don't be afraid of the injured reserve. The place you fear is, in reality, a place of much blessing and growth. It's a doorway into a wider place. Enter into the experience fully and receive undreamed of blessings from the hand of God.

Alone & Yet Not Alone

The following requires no commentary:

"In every single one of us there is a place of solitude no human relationship can fill, not even the deepest love between two individuals. Anyone who does not accept this solitude sooner or later revolts against other people and against God himself.

And yet you are never alone. Let yourself be plumbed to the depths, and you will realize that everyone is created for a presence. There, in your heart of hearts, in that place where no two people are alike, Christ is waiting for you. And there the unexpected happens."
-Brother Roger of Taizé, Parable of Community