You've probably heard of the game The Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon... How you can link Kevin Bacon in six degrees of separation to any other actor... Well I was reading somewhere recently (someplace reliable, but I don't remember where) that there is research that proves that we are truly that closely interrelated - but not just to other actors like in the game, but to any other person on the planet. It's actually 6.5 degrees of separation between you and any other person on the planet.
If that doesn't make you say, "Wow!" I don't know what would. It's pretty amazing to think that you know someone who knows someone, who knows someone... well you get the point. It's not very far from any one of us to any other. So I guess, if you want to meet someone, you should just make it known that you want to meet them. Chances are you do know someone who knows someone- and probably in fewer degrees of separation than six. Hmmmm....
In The Shack, Sarayu (the Holy Spirit) talks about patterns - she calls them fractals. She tells Mack, the protagonist that she loves fractals. Mack is looking at a garden (which turns out to be a symbol for himself) and he sees a mess. Sarayu takes it as a great compliment. Then he begins to perceive patterns. She tells him that they're fractals. Fractals are self-similar structures whose geometrical and topographical features are recapitulated in miniature on finer and finer scales. It's a fancy, mathematical term for a pattern. Sarayu tells Mack at some point in the book that lives look like that - like fractals. She meant individual lives, but I wonder about patterns as they relate to our interconnectedness.
We're so individualistic in this country. We think that we live our lives in relative isolation and that our concerns are our concerns. But that's really not true. Whether it's your neighbor next door or across town or across the world, we are connected. Jesus asked who's your neighbor? When we understand how closely (by degrees) we are interrelated to everyone, we understand clearly that every other person is our neighbor.
So... Hello Neighbor! Maybe one day we'll meet. For sure I know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone who knows you.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Remembering
I chaperoned the high school marching band competition yesterday. It was a great trip for our city's band - they won every category in their division. But during the debrief of the performance, the band director said that one of the judges' criticisms was that the the members did not by their movements and facial expressions convey the mood of the music.
The music the band performs this year has a Spanish theme. There is throughout the performance the sound of castanets, and at one point in the performance the band members stop and stop their feet like Flamenco dancers.
For some reason I awoke at about 3 a.m. thinking about what the band should do to convey the right message. I thought about the posture and attitude of Flamenco dancers and bull fighters...
How do I know about such things? Well, that took me down memory lane in the middle of the night...
Although we say we're Cuban, my grandfather immigrated from Spain to Cuba as a teen. In fact when Castro came to power, my grandparents fled to their home in Spain, not the U.S.. I have seen many Flamenco dances and even had a doll that was a Flamenco dancer. I have also watched more than my share of bullfights (not something I ever enjoyed). My grandfather watched bull fighting on TV the way most kids' grandfathers watched baseball.
More later...
The music the band performs this year has a Spanish theme. There is throughout the performance the sound of castanets, and at one point in the performance the band members stop and stop their feet like Flamenco dancers.
For some reason I awoke at about 3 a.m. thinking about what the band should do to convey the right message. I thought about the posture and attitude of Flamenco dancers and bull fighters...
How do I know about such things? Well, that took me down memory lane in the middle of the night...
Although we say we're Cuban, my grandfather immigrated from Spain to Cuba as a teen. In fact when Castro came to power, my grandparents fled to their home in Spain, not the U.S.. I have seen many Flamenco dances and even had a doll that was a Flamenco dancer. I have also watched more than my share of bullfights (not something I ever enjoyed). My grandfather watched bull fighting on TV the way most kids' grandfathers watched baseball.
More later...
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Great Contemporary Literature
Typically when I think of great stories, I think of books written 100+ years ago. Marilynne Robinson's books are perhaps the exceptions that prove the rule. I'm not saying that hers are the only truly fine contemporary novels. However, all three that she's written are very fine. Very fine indeed.
Yesterday afternoon I finished Home. There were tears in my eyes. Tears for Jack and Glory and Della. Especially tears for Jack, who's convinced that he is outside of the grace of God. But there were also tears of sadness because the book was over. Robinson's prose is stunning. I sit and shake my head because I'd like to say more, but lack words to elaborate. Just read it.
Home covers the same time period as Gilead - and the same characters, from a different perspective. I thought I would pick Gilead back up and read through it in light of what I know about Jack and Glory from Home. I had no particular thought about when I'd do it, however, until I went to the PCUSA's site to pull off today's Lectionary on-line and noticed several quotes from Gilead in the daily quotations section. So I reached for Gilead to see if I had the same passages marked - yes marked. These are the kind of novels with passages that demand to be marked so that they can be easily found.
This one's not on the PCUSA's site but is not only underlined in my copy, but underlined with a squiggly line (meaning that I especially liked it). This passage is found on page 124 of the hard cover edition:
"When you encounter another person, when you have dealings with anyone at all, it is as if a question is being put to you. So you must think, What is the Lord asking of me in this moment, this situation? If you confront insult or antagonism, your first impulse will be to respond in kind. But if you think, as it were, This is an emissary sent from the Lord, and some benefit is intended for me, first of all the occasion to demonstrate my faithfulness, the chance to show that I do in some small degree participate in the grace that saved me, you are free to act otherwise than the circumstances would seem to dictate. You are free to act by your own lights. You are freed at the same time of the impulse of to hate or resent that person. He would probably laugh at the thought that the Lord sent him to you for your benefit (and his), but that is the perfection of the disguise, his own ignorance of it....
Calvin says somewhere that each of us is an actor on a stage and God is the audience. That metaphor has always interested me, because it makes us artists of our behavior, and the reaction of God to us might be thought of as aesthetic rather than morally judgmental in the ordinary sense. How well do we understand our role? With how much assurance do we perform it?...I do like Calvin's image... because it suggests how God might actually enjoy us."
The above is not an example of the stunning prose that I referred to earlier, but is a very interesting thought. Don't you agree?
Yesterday afternoon I finished Home. There were tears in my eyes. Tears for Jack and Glory and Della. Especially tears for Jack, who's convinced that he is outside of the grace of God. But there were also tears of sadness because the book was over. Robinson's prose is stunning. I sit and shake my head because I'd like to say more, but lack words to elaborate. Just read it.
Home covers the same time period as Gilead - and the same characters, from a different perspective. I thought I would pick Gilead back up and read through it in light of what I know about Jack and Glory from Home. I had no particular thought about when I'd do it, however, until I went to the PCUSA's site to pull off today's Lectionary on-line and noticed several quotes from Gilead in the daily quotations section. So I reached for Gilead to see if I had the same passages marked - yes marked. These are the kind of novels with passages that demand to be marked so that they can be easily found.
This one's not on the PCUSA's site but is not only underlined in my copy, but underlined with a squiggly line (meaning that I especially liked it). This passage is found on page 124 of the hard cover edition:
"When you encounter another person, when you have dealings with anyone at all, it is as if a question is being put to you. So you must think, What is the Lord asking of me in this moment, this situation? If you confront insult or antagonism, your first impulse will be to respond in kind. But if you think, as it were, This is an emissary sent from the Lord, and some benefit is intended for me, first of all the occasion to demonstrate my faithfulness, the chance to show that I do in some small degree participate in the grace that saved me, you are free to act otherwise than the circumstances would seem to dictate. You are free to act by your own lights. You are freed at the same time of the impulse of to hate or resent that person. He would probably laugh at the thought that the Lord sent him to you for your benefit (and his), but that is the perfection of the disguise, his own ignorance of it....
Calvin says somewhere that each of us is an actor on a stage and God is the audience. That metaphor has always interested me, because it makes us artists of our behavior, and the reaction of God to us might be thought of as aesthetic rather than morally judgmental in the ordinary sense. How well do we understand our role? With how much assurance do we perform it?...I do like Calvin's image... because it suggests how God might actually enjoy us."
The above is not an example of the stunning prose that I referred to earlier, but is a very interesting thought. Don't you agree?
Monday, September 8, 2008
Stealing Music
I'm in Charleston SC (my FAVORITE city) on business. I've been visiting locations and talking with sales reps. I did the same thing last week in Raleigh, and discovered that lots of people think nothing about stealing music off of the internet. I was asking sales reps what they thought of a partnership that the company I work for has with Rhapsody - attempting to find out if they're selling it and what their roadblocks are.
I shared with them how much I love it and what a great value I think it is - three devices for $14.99. Every one of them looked at me like I was crazy. They don't pay for music. Why would they when they can pull whatever they want from the internet for free?
I pointed out very plainly that what they're doing is stealing. Taking some one's artistic and intellectual property without paying. None of them seem to have any qualms of conscience about this at all. I asked them how they'd feel if it was their music that was being stolen. Most of them said that they'd be happy with concert sales and ringtones. Yeah, right. I believe that psychologists call that rationalization.
Where am I going with this? I don't know. I know that we all rationalize some things at some times. I hope that when I rationalize that someone is kind enough to point it out so that I can stop it. No matter what, there are some things that are wrong - and wrong under any circumstance. I want to know when I'm wrong - especially when my error hurts someone else.
I shared with them how much I love it and what a great value I think it is - three devices for $14.99. Every one of them looked at me like I was crazy. They don't pay for music. Why would they when they can pull whatever they want from the internet for free?
I pointed out very plainly that what they're doing is stealing. Taking some one's artistic and intellectual property without paying. None of them seem to have any qualms of conscience about this at all. I asked them how they'd feel if it was their music that was being stolen. Most of them said that they'd be happy with concert sales and ringtones. Yeah, right. I believe that psychologists call that rationalization.
Where am I going with this? I don't know. I know that we all rationalize some things at some times. I hope that when I rationalize that someone is kind enough to point it out so that I can stop it. No matter what, there are some things that are wrong - and wrong under any circumstance. I want to know when I'm wrong - especially when my error hurts someone else.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Buck: A Cautionary Tale
I want to begin this morning by telling you about a man I met a couple of weeks ago in Eastern North Carolina. I had a strange encounter with a man during a business lunch. It’s the business lunch part that makes this conversation a bit weird. I was meeting with a couple of older gentlemen who wanted to talk about a potential business opportunity with my company. Toward the end of lunch one of them was called away for a few minutes. During that time, the other man, for reasons beyond my understanding, decided to tell me some things about his life story. I’ve been pondering what he said in light of today’s Lectionary ever since then. It’s been instructive for me, and maybe it will be for you too.
This man (we’ll call him Buck) is truly a scoundrel. He made that fact clear to me by many of the things he said throughout the lunch about his current business life. His business partner is the good guy, and he’s, well…. The scoundrel. But it’s what he told me about his personal life that touched me particularly, and it’s that part that I want to share with you.
Before he retired the first time, Buck sold tobacco farming equipment throughout the South and portions of the Mid Atlantic states for thirty years. He told me that he was the thirteenth of fourteen children – ten of them boys. Buck said that during growing up years that he had no idea that his family was poor. But that once he reached manhood, he could see that his father and his brothers were working themselves to death and just barely getting by. He couldn’t see himself doing that, so he went into sales.
Buck was highly motivated, and enjoyed great success. He married and had two children – a girl and a boy. Buck was on the road a lot. He looked across the table at me and said, “You know what that means.” I did. It means that he met a lot of ladies. Buck says that he fancied himself a ladies man. His wife knew about his philandering and tried everything she could think of to get him to stop – to be faithful to her. But Buck was having too much fun. Besides, he wasn’t really sure he had ever loved his wife.
After 25 years of marriage, Buck left home and never went back. He told me that he represented himself in the divorce, and that even without an attorney was able to stay a step ahead of his wife and her attorney. He left the marriage with his finances in tact. Buck says that to retaliate his wife turned their children against him. At least, that’s his interpretation. You’d have to figure that after 25 years of marriage that their kids would be grown or almost grown, right? I found it sad that Buck didn’t see that it was his own behavior that changed his relationship with his children.
Ironically, once he was divorced, Buck didn’t run around with the ladies nearly as much. He said that it wasn’t as much fun once it was okay to do it. See what I mean?… a scoundrel…. Buck said that, though his wife has remarried and is happy, he’s still estranged from his children. In fact, he hasn’t seen his daughter in 10 years (ever since his son got married) and didn’t talk to her then. I asked him if he attended his daughter’s wedding. He said that though he was invited, he didn’t go. He said, “I don’t know what she (meaning his daughter) wants. I told him what I thought she wanted, and suggested that if he didn’t feel comfortable calling her, that maybe he could drop her a note.
Buck shook his head sadly and said, “I’m a very independent person.” By that he meant, I think, that he’s a very proud person. Too proud to reach out to his daughter. Too proud to admit his errors – his guilt. He’d rather be estranged. I told Buck that no one was going to stand over his casket and praise his independence, but that they might still be possible for them to praise his love of his kids…
Earlier in the conversation Buck told me that he’d tried to retire, but retirement wasn’t for him. Now I understood why. He had no meaningful and fulfilling relationships. He’d had plenty of “fun” earlier in life, but none of it set him up for long term happiness.
When I met Buck, I’d already been reading the Lectionary for today, because I knew that I was preaching this Sunday and I like to ponder the Scriptures over time. Well, Buck brought the passages Romans and Matthew to the forefront of my mind. Both of them give advice on human relationships. In fact, the Bible is full of advice on relationships isn’t it? We’re told in many and various ways how to relate to God and how to relate to one another.
Our relational nature is one of the ways we bear the image of God. God is in perpetual, loving and harmonious relationship in the persons of the Trinity. Ideally our relationships would look something like His – mutuality and perfect love – the joy of knowing and being known. You may remember a couple of weeks ago Chuck mentioning a book entitled The Shack. That book is a great read – even if all you get from it is a picture of the relationship that exists between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
In the passage read to us from Romans, we hear Paul remind us of something that Jesus said in the Gospels – that love fulfills the law. “Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments, ‘You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet’; and any other commandment, are summed up in this word, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law.”
It’s pretty simple advice isn’t it? Simple, yes - but not easy. In the drudgery of day to day living pettiness and selfishness creep in and make it hard to love. Someone leaves the lid off the toothpaste or doesn’t replace the empty roll of toilet paper. We’re annoyed. How inconsiderate! Or maybe we feel that our needs aren’t being met in some way. We’re not loved or appreciated the way we feel we deserve to be. It’s interesting to me that with all the relationship advice we’re given in the Bible, the focus isn’t how others should be treating us, but on how we should be treating others.
In fact, even when a serious wrong has been done, the focus is on what we should do. We’re not told that we should wrap our injury around us like a cloak or use it like a weapon – demanding that the person who wronged us come crawling back in humiliation.
Instead, Jesus tells us in Matthew that if someone sins against you, you should attempt to reconcile. He says to go to the person, and if that doesn’t work go again with a friend or two, and if that doesn’t work, try with a group. His point is that we should do everything we possibly can to remain in relationship. To mend what’s broken, to heal what’s hurt. If all of our efforts fail, it’s okay to let the person go, but first we need to try.
And that’s exactly what God does for us. He loves and pursues us with mercy and grace and forgiveness. We’ve wronged God, but He pursues us desiring relationship and reconciliation. All of us who have experienced salvation know exactly what it means to be loved and loved well. As undeserving recipients of love and grace and forgiveness we should be generous dispensers of it. God’s desire is for the church to be chalked full of great lovers and strong relationships.
My thoughts go back to Buck. I pray that he’ll find his way. Buck’s life is instructive to me and I hope to you too. Let’s choose to love family and friends well. Let’s choose love and relationship over everything. Let’s keep faith with everyone God has placed in our lives. Let’s reach out in reconciliation to those who have wronged us. At the end of our lives, what’s left is our relationships: our relationship to God and our relationships with others. I told Buck that no one would stand over his casket and praise his independence. They won’t do that for me or you either. In the end, may it be said of us all that we were great lovers and generous dispensers of grace – just like our heavenly Father.
This man (we’ll call him Buck) is truly a scoundrel. He made that fact clear to me by many of the things he said throughout the lunch about his current business life. His business partner is the good guy, and he’s, well…. The scoundrel. But it’s what he told me about his personal life that touched me particularly, and it’s that part that I want to share with you.
Before he retired the first time, Buck sold tobacco farming equipment throughout the South and portions of the Mid Atlantic states for thirty years. He told me that he was the thirteenth of fourteen children – ten of them boys. Buck said that during growing up years that he had no idea that his family was poor. But that once he reached manhood, he could see that his father and his brothers were working themselves to death and just barely getting by. He couldn’t see himself doing that, so he went into sales.
Buck was highly motivated, and enjoyed great success. He married and had two children – a girl and a boy. Buck was on the road a lot. He looked across the table at me and said, “You know what that means.” I did. It means that he met a lot of ladies. Buck says that he fancied himself a ladies man. His wife knew about his philandering and tried everything she could think of to get him to stop – to be faithful to her. But Buck was having too much fun. Besides, he wasn’t really sure he had ever loved his wife.
After 25 years of marriage, Buck left home and never went back. He told me that he represented himself in the divorce, and that even without an attorney was able to stay a step ahead of his wife and her attorney. He left the marriage with his finances in tact. Buck says that to retaliate his wife turned their children against him. At least, that’s his interpretation. You’d have to figure that after 25 years of marriage that their kids would be grown or almost grown, right? I found it sad that Buck didn’t see that it was his own behavior that changed his relationship with his children.
Ironically, once he was divorced, Buck didn’t run around with the ladies nearly as much. He said that it wasn’t as much fun once it was okay to do it. See what I mean?… a scoundrel…. Buck said that, though his wife has remarried and is happy, he’s still estranged from his children. In fact, he hasn’t seen his daughter in 10 years (ever since his son got married) and didn’t talk to her then. I asked him if he attended his daughter’s wedding. He said that though he was invited, he didn’t go. He said, “I don’t know what she (meaning his daughter) wants. I told him what I thought she wanted, and suggested that if he didn’t feel comfortable calling her, that maybe he could drop her a note.
Buck shook his head sadly and said, “I’m a very independent person.” By that he meant, I think, that he’s a very proud person. Too proud to reach out to his daughter. Too proud to admit his errors – his guilt. He’d rather be estranged. I told Buck that no one was going to stand over his casket and praise his independence, but that they might still be possible for them to praise his love of his kids…
Earlier in the conversation Buck told me that he’d tried to retire, but retirement wasn’t for him. Now I understood why. He had no meaningful and fulfilling relationships. He’d had plenty of “fun” earlier in life, but none of it set him up for long term happiness.
When I met Buck, I’d already been reading the Lectionary for today, because I knew that I was preaching this Sunday and I like to ponder the Scriptures over time. Well, Buck brought the passages Romans and Matthew to the forefront of my mind. Both of them give advice on human relationships. In fact, the Bible is full of advice on relationships isn’t it? We’re told in many and various ways how to relate to God and how to relate to one another.
Our relational nature is one of the ways we bear the image of God. God is in perpetual, loving and harmonious relationship in the persons of the Trinity. Ideally our relationships would look something like His – mutuality and perfect love – the joy of knowing and being known. You may remember a couple of weeks ago Chuck mentioning a book entitled The Shack. That book is a great read – even if all you get from it is a picture of the relationship that exists between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
In the passage read to us from Romans, we hear Paul remind us of something that Jesus said in the Gospels – that love fulfills the law. “Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments, ‘You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet’; and any other commandment, are summed up in this word, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law.”
It’s pretty simple advice isn’t it? Simple, yes - but not easy. In the drudgery of day to day living pettiness and selfishness creep in and make it hard to love. Someone leaves the lid off the toothpaste or doesn’t replace the empty roll of toilet paper. We’re annoyed. How inconsiderate! Or maybe we feel that our needs aren’t being met in some way. We’re not loved or appreciated the way we feel we deserve to be. It’s interesting to me that with all the relationship advice we’re given in the Bible, the focus isn’t how others should be treating us, but on how we should be treating others.
In fact, even when a serious wrong has been done, the focus is on what we should do. We’re not told that we should wrap our injury around us like a cloak or use it like a weapon – demanding that the person who wronged us come crawling back in humiliation.
Instead, Jesus tells us in Matthew that if someone sins against you, you should attempt to reconcile. He says to go to the person, and if that doesn’t work go again with a friend or two, and if that doesn’t work, try with a group. His point is that we should do everything we possibly can to remain in relationship. To mend what’s broken, to heal what’s hurt. If all of our efforts fail, it’s okay to let the person go, but first we need to try.
And that’s exactly what God does for us. He loves and pursues us with mercy and grace and forgiveness. We’ve wronged God, but He pursues us desiring relationship and reconciliation. All of us who have experienced salvation know exactly what it means to be loved and loved well. As undeserving recipients of love and grace and forgiveness we should be generous dispensers of it. God’s desire is for the church to be chalked full of great lovers and strong relationships.
My thoughts go back to Buck. I pray that he’ll find his way. Buck’s life is instructive to me and I hope to you too. Let’s choose to love family and friends well. Let’s choose love and relationship over everything. Let’s keep faith with everyone God has placed in our lives. Let’s reach out in reconciliation to those who have wronged us. At the end of our lives, what’s left is our relationships: our relationship to God and our relationships with others. I told Buck that no one would stand over his casket and praise his independence. They won’t do that for me or you either. In the end, may it be said of us all that we were great lovers and generous dispensers of grace – just like our heavenly Father.
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