On Learning to Drive

My daughter recently obtained her learners permit and is learning to drive. At the DMV, both of us were very nervous - my daughter was worried about failing, and I was worried about her passing...

Yesterday I traded my Windstar and bought her a Kia Rio. One of my sisters complimented me on my generosity, but the truth is that I didn't want her driving my Ford Edge. My daughter felt that she'd do better in something smaller, and I have to say that I agree.

Children open our eyes to lots of things that we take for granted. When you have a baby or toddler, you tend to see things anew through their eyes. It's a time to regain a sense of wonder at this amazing world we live it. Babies and toddlers have a lot more to teach too. They are very willing to try, and try again, and then again and again - however long it takes to learn a new skill. Young children are great practicers.

Practice is what my daughter needs. Driving practice. The first time I took her out, it wouldn't have surprised me to come home, look in the mirror, and discover that every hair on my head was grey. But it's getting better for both of us. My daughter is getting better, and I'm trying to relax.

Today I let her drive to church and then out to lunch. I was reminded of how many complex actions go into driving from one place to another. Simply merging from an entrance ramp onto the road requires some pretty fancy moves and a keen awareness of what's around you and at what rate of speed others are driving at.

I'm basically an easy going person, not aggressive at all. Not until I get behind the wheel of a car, that is. I like to drive a little on the fast side, and can be a bit impatient with those on the road who prefer to move slower. Here's the thing. I want my daughter to move at the speed limit or slower. When I'm in the car with her, the drivers on the road who are like me (a little aggressive) make me really nervous. I'm thinking, "This is a new driver here! Slow down! What if you cause her to wreck?!"

This part of the learning to drive experience has been a great reminder to me. Rather than feeling impatience, maybe I need to be more aware of others - maybe they're learning to drive. Maybe they're old and having difficulties. Maybe they're simply having a bad day. The last thing they need is some aggressive driver breathing down their backs.

It's not just when I'm behind the wheel that I need to be aware of others. There are other kinds of wrecks we can have as we navigate the roads of life. Whatever the situation, I don't want to be responsible for someone having a wreck of any kind. How about you?

True That!

The trouble with America isn't that the poetry of life has turned to prose, but that it has turned to advertising copy.
-Louis Kronenberger

On Secret Identities

I have a secret identity. I guess if I'm putting it here in black and white it's not so secret.... My nieces and nephews know me as the Queen of Fun. If there's fun or adventure to be had, I'll likely find it and if possible, make it accessible to them. As secret identities go, I think being the Queen of Fun is a pretty good one.

A secret identity is a pretty common device in certain kinds of stories. Peter Parker seems like a nice guy - maybe a little wimpy - but in reality he's Spider Man. Clark Kent is the geeky newspaper guy who (it appears) wouldn't hurt a fly, but when there's a crisis, he's Super Man. But there are other's with secret identities too. Sinister ones. The Joker, for instance. Surely he doesn't walk around all the time in his clown make-up. It seems like he'd be easy to catch if that was the case.

George McDonald wrote a wonderful book called The Princess and Curdie where Curdie (the protagonist) is given a special ability: he's able to discern the secret identity of those he meets by shaking their hands. Curdie puts his hands into some flaming rose petals and his hands are made very sensitive. This is how he knows the good guys from the bad guys. If he shakes a hand and feels the talon of a bird of prey, for example, he knows not to trust that person.
It seems like that could be a handy thing - to know who you're dealing with, whether friend or foe.

I think we all have a secret identity. We can go off on our own and choose one. When we do, it's going to be something like what Curdie encountered. Even if we start off with good intentions, we'll end up as one of the bad guys. Or.. we could accept the one designed for us from the foundations of the world. The one known only to God. If we choose that way, we may not be aware of what our secret identity is until the end of the story, but when it's revealed we'll be glad we did. My God given secret identity is probably not "Queen of Fun", although I think it would be pretty darn cool if it was...